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WHY will he not use the potty? WHY??????

I am so far beyond frustrated! My son is almost 4 and refuses to poop in the potty. Pee is fine, he has been pee trained for a year and a half, but poop, has NEVER happened. I've offered him candy rewards, stickers, trips to the park, pizza places, and recently, there is a Thomas and friends even coming to a nearby town. My Son LOVES thomas. He ONLY plays with thomas toys and ONLY watched thomas videos. So I told him if he can poop on the potty we will take him to ride on the real thomas train. NOPE!!! The event is Saturday and he STILL has not been successful. He just doesnt WANT to. I dont understand. I keep hearing he will when he is ready crap. I dont believe it anymore! He can recite ABC's, knows all his shapes, animals, colors, can have a conversation. He will come tell me immediatly AFTER he poops. Today I have been reminding him all day about the thomas train we can ride on, and say with him 4 times while he tried. He finally pooped his pants, just 3 mintues after the last time sitting on the potty. WHY??? I dont care anymore about "try this, not that" Believe me I have tried EVERYTHING!!! I want to know WHY he refuses? What is going on in his psyche??? I want to understand his psycological behavior!


Asked by busywithbabies at 7:10 PM on Mar. 2, 2011 in General Parenting

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Answers (4)
  • honey, I'm sorry that you are frustrated but that kid is just not ready. You said nothing is working, you are probably putting too much pressure on him.

    I'm sorry that you want him to do things in your time frame, but face it, he will not.
    Lots of kids don't want to do this. My sister was one of them and my mother tried just about everything that you could imagine. She tried to keep her out of her diaper thinking it would force her into it.
    It didn't work. My sister went and took her dump in my dad's easy chair!
    take a wild guess how it was discovered? you guess it! my father sat down in it and SQUISH!!!!!!!!!!
    I wish I'd had a picture of the look on my fathers face when he realized what he had just sat in!

    my sister finally took too the idea once my mom backed off.
    Take a look at some of the psych research and see how many problems are thought to have resulted from pushing a kid that isn't ready to potty train.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:23 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • Maybe he just isn't ready.. or something may be making him uncomfortable... or scared? Try asking him what you can do to help make it easier for him? Good luck! He will go when he is ready :)

    Answer by kaitilala at 7:21 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I think he is afraid, my son went through the same thing, he was 4 also at the time, but when he was 3 he had a babysitter that would force him to sit on there, my older son told me about that one and we never went back, but it was really frustrationg for me too, i would have him on there then he would turn around and poop his pants, i finally caught him one day in the tub and he says he has to go and i threw him on and he went and we never had a problem again, but it may be a fear of the unknown.
    My son is 8 now and i just asked him why he was afraid and he says that he was afraid he would be sucked down. maybe if you can show him that nothing will happen to him.

    Answer by jenn4443 at 7:24 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I don't think that he understands the concept of pooping in the toilet. My oldest son was 4 when he finally started to poop in the toilet. Just try to be patient with him and don't badger him to go in the toilet, He'll go in the toilet when the time is right.

    Answer by stitchintime at 5:27 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

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