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3 Bumps

Ok...Not sure if this is the right way to feel makes me mad that everytime I mention my ex's kids get happy....Maybee because I never talked bad about her nor there dad about how he left me for another women..but it hurts!!!

How would you feel if your ex husband left you for another women but you never talked bad about them...then when it comes to them picking them up and the kids get sooo exicited (both 5 and 8) really hurts me because of what I went through to be where we are now. I know that they are kids but it still hurts when they get excited to see them


Asked by Anonymous at 7:25 PM on Mar. 2, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I'm glad to hear you didn't talk negatively about the gf or their dad.... And if you want to vent about it here, that's probably the best way to handle it. He was a louse, and she was just as lousy for taking up with a married man. He should've had the balls to leave you before he started up with someone else, if that's what he was going to do.

    But...and this is a big happy your kids like her and she takes good care of your kids. If she's making an effort for them to like her? Then she must care enough about their feelings to go out of her way. There are WAY worse things than you getting your feelings hurt.

    Answer by blu_canary at 8:10 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • Well, he's not going to dump her. And as hurtful as it can be, would you rather your child be unhappy with this person? You'd feel even worse if your child was forced to be around someone they didn't like.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 7:31 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • On the flip side, and I want you to keep an open mind before you shut me is truly better that they feel good about going over there and they get along with the gf. What if she treated them unkindly? What if she ignored their visit? I have been on both sides of the fence with shared custody and I know how difficult this is. Good luck to you

    Answer by beyondhopes at 7:31 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • Been there done that and still go through it my ex married the one he was running around on me with. Now after three years though I can tell the newness is and has worn off so just give it time. I know it hurts but as for me I have NEVER held back what I think, maybe I should have at times but I felt I was in the right so I really didn't care.

    Answer by AmI88 at 7:28 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I know exactly what you mean.
    My kids are 4 and 18 months so they're too young to be able to know why something like that might suck for me and 'm obviously not going to tell them.

    Hearing "Hey! That looks like *her* car!" or "That's what *she* says all the time.
    Or having my 18 month old walking around saying "Hi *new girlfriend*" over and over again because it's a new thing she's learned to say.

    I could care less that he has a girlfriend. She is welcome to him. I want nothing to do with the guy in any way. But my kids...that hurts. They shouldn't have been introduced to her already and it hurts when they talk about her.
    But I just put a smile on my face and say "Oh that's nice." or "Oh neat." any time they mention something about her.
    It's hard.

    Answer by Laila-May at 7:30 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I think you did the right thing. I'm sure it hurts but I think the main point is that your children were treated well. considering all the stories you hear about bad things happening to kids.
    it's ok to feel what you feel, but try to take comfort in the fact that she was a good woman and that your children liked spending time her. rather than them not being happy around her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:35 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • sorry dear, but I think you need to grow up. I just saw yet another news clip of a case where someone's boyfriend hurt a child terribly. Do what you can to work out your feelings, but the priority is your children, not how you feel about the woman that replaced you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:37 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • Depending on their age, of course they are excited. They haven't seen dad all week (or longer). Maybe the girlfriend is young enough or has been around kids their age enough to know what they like. Maybe she spoils them a little. Just be grateful that they like her and don't hate her. My kids like one of my ex's (ex)wives a lot, even better than they did their dad. She is a nice person. I was glad they had the experience with her. They have two half-brothers by her. Even tho the marriage didn't last long, they remained friends with her. They STILL like her better than their dad. lol

    Answer by Kimimale at 7:32 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I can understand that, but I would just tell you to continue taking the high road. Don't bash her in front of them. It will get easier.

    Answer by sondaughter312 at 8:32 PM on Mar. 2, 2011