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9 Bumps

I hate my mother adult content

Before I got pregnant and estranged from my mom, my mother dearest told me that any kids from me she won't accept because I am a dog and any kid of mine are dogs. She was physically and emotionally abusive to me throughout my life. Now, I have a beautiful and bright baby girl. My hubby, her friends and people we know want me to "forgive" and let her see her granddaughter. She is the first grandbaby in the family. Her friends, who I let visit, tells me she's always asking about her granddaughter. I am usually a very forgiving person but when I remember all the sh!t she put me through...I still cry. I get so angry that I shake and tremble. Should I give her a chance? Or should I just wait for her to go to he!!.

Answer Question
 
AlyssaM0mmy

Asked by AlyssaM0mmy at 8:59 PM on Mar. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Level 9 (275 Credits)
Answers (27)
  • I'd see her alone 1st and if she was decent to you,I'd consider letting her see your daughter
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 9:00 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • Do what feels right to you. Not what you are being told or what you want but what you feel in your heart is the right thing to do. Good Luck.
    mrs.coop

    Answer by mrs.coop at 9:01 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • Wait for her to go to hell.  I'm not going to spout that bs about forgiveness and giving her a second chance.  You have your own family now and a beautiful little girl and I would focus on that and do my best to not think about her.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 9:01 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • i would say that until she can prove that she has changed i wouldn't let her around your baby at the very least not without your supervision
    macks_mommy

    Answer by macks_mommy at 9:01 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I believe in second chances.
    Maybe now that she's a grandmother, her perspectives have changed.

    Babies have an amazing affect on people.

    If it were me, I'd give her a second chance but I would keep my guard up and at the first hint of a repeat of the past, I'd be gone.
    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 9:01 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I don't know. I feel like saying "wait for her to go to hell." or at least she should be the one to make a move to reconcile.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 9:01 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • U should give her chance
    lelly1019

    Answer by lelly1019 at 9:03 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • Start slow and send pix or post them on FB if she is on there. I have estranged children too. We simply cannot get along so we work around our petty differences and post pix and keep up with one another on FB. It's the best we can do.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:03 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • don't do it - she'll be all sweet to the baby and still hateful to you. Then if you continue to let her see the baby, toddler, etc., your dd will see how grandma treats you and could start treating you the same.
    autbot

    Answer by autbot at 9:05 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • My mom was the same way and it comes down to boundaries. Set down firm boundaries and stick with them. Also I reccomend the book, making peace with your parents (the book is to help you not about forgiving them neccesarily but healing yourself.) Also there is a group on here of women that have mom issues and it really helped me to have somewhere to rant. Its called... my mom is a nut and I am afraid I am going to turn into her. Feel free to pm me if you want someone to talk to who has been there, I really know how you feel. It really comes down to whether having her in your life makes you healthier or unhealthier. Because your health effects your parenting and you have every right to keep unhealthy people out of your life.
    NightOwlMama

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 9:08 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

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