I am tired of being nice, doing everything I can, and then having it thrown back in my face, and being treated like I am just some overbearing, nosy pest.
My son and daughter in law moved in with me a little less than a year ago to try and save money up for their first house, and since they were expecting I could help them out ( babysitting and so they would have a little extra money to buy the baby things) ...
There are some times when I am so happy that they live with me, I love spending time with my grandaughter and I love my son and daughter in law very much. My husband passed away a few years ago, and my daughter ( oldest) lives in another town with her husband and my other grandkids ( I still get to see them once or twice a week though) .... So it does make me happy when I dont have to come home to an empty house.
That being said, I really feeling taken advantage of some times.
- When they first moved in we turned one room into the nursery, one room for them and the other extra room I already had in use for my other grandkids ( a playroom ) . Now, every room in the house is overtaken by my daughter in laws stuff , my other grandkids cant even go into the playroom because it is literally packed with her boxes . Even my room has her stuff in it. It just seems to happen little by little , I will come home and some of my stuff will be off the wall and things she got will be hung up and it is really just starting to bug me. And now my daughter in law is mad that I am not "making her feel at home"
- I pay for everything, which I never intended on them paying rent or anything like that, but it is to the point to where I buy the diapers, baby food , clothes , I bought the crib and all of her furniture ... I also planned on buying my grandaughter things, but I think this is kind of crazy, especially consdiering my son makes almost the same amount of money I do and he only has car payments ( for both bars it is less than $500 / month) ... My daughter in law is constantly buying herself new things , going tanning, getting her nails and hair done.... but yet if I imply something about not being able to spend as much of my money she gets upset because " I make her feel guilty , and she cant take time for herself"
- Her "not being able to take time for herself" also goes for when I say I cant watch my grandaughter..... It has gotten to an almost daily thing... When I get up in the morning and my daughter in law is still sleeping ( son already at work) and the baby is crying in her crib * I * have to balance feeding her and getting myself ready for work... When I get home from work she wants me to watch the baby so she can take a nap or go out with her friends, at the same time I need to clean ( because she doesnt at all ) and make supper .... If I say that I am too tired she starts to whine and tells me how hard it is to stay home with her all day
But I honestly think the thing that bugs me the most is...... She will have people over alot of times ( her friends or her family members) , and acts like I do nothing for the baby... If I say or ask her something in reference to the baby ( like the other day when i asked what she had for lunch since I was trying to decide what was for supper) ... well she got an attitude and acted like * I * have never fed her or had no idea what she ate.... I even overheard her once telling her friend that i try and act like the baby is mine because I always leave the carseat in my car ( but she hardly ever has taken the baby anymore).. this is from the girl who had to ask me what size diapers the baby wore when she went to the store...
My son works 14 hour days and I honestly think he doesnt know how she acts , the way she does in front of her friends - that is how she acts with him to... if you would ask my son he probably think that the only time I am ever alone with the baby is when they have their "date night"
I feel stuck, i cant really say anything to my son about it because I feel he is just so blind in love that he cant see her imperfections.... and the way she is I cant talk to her about it ( everytime that I have, she gets defensive and denies everything) and then she is in such a bad mood that she is even worse to be around .... I have seriously considered spending more time out of home ( going to more activites or spending more time with other family and friends) but I dont want to have to feel that way about my own home....
What would you do ?
Asked by Anonymous at 11:05 PM on Mar. 2, 2011 in Parenting Debate
I would take her things down and put them in HER room. You don't move in with someone and then try to set up 'home' in THEIR house. That is just so rude to me. I would lay down some law. It sounds to me like she turns things around because she already KNOWS that you aren't going to push the issues. You are doing more than enough and should be being thanked not ran over!
Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 11:09 PM on Mar. 2, 2011
Answer by Anonymous at 11:11 PM on Mar. 2, 2011
Answer by myheartx4 at 11:13 PM on Mar. 2, 2011
Answer by leksismommy at 11:14 PM on Mar. 2, 2011
Answer by mommy_jules at 11:18 PM on Mar. 2, 2011
Answer by jewjewbee at 11:20 PM on Mar. 2, 2011
Answer by katieandchris01 at 11:23 PM on Mar. 2, 2011
Answer by MamaRoberts at 11:32 PM on Mar. 2, 2011
Answer by katieandchris01 at 11:34 PM on Mar. 2, 2011
Answer by Rosehawk at 11:35 PM on Mar. 2, 2011