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Feel like i was raped but i consented....Help? (WARNING) adult content

ok heres the deal. my husband wanted anal sex, ive been ok with it in the past but not after i had my baby 4 months ago things are still pretty swollen so i told him no multiple times and i finally cracked under pressure. (ive never come during sex so this is nothing new) anyways. we did the deed but it hurt so bad and he asked if i wanted him to stop and i said no, ur in anyways. just finish. and he asked me if it hurt alot and I said yes, but finish anyways and he did. he didnt know at the time that it hurt so bad i was crying. now i feel like i was raped since i didnt want it and he ripped me anyways (even though there was plenty of lube) and its been a constant reminder all day of how weak i was

i know i consented but i didnt really want it and i feel like hubby was EXTREMELY selfish and now hes all sorry n shit and says hell never ask again (which is bull btw. he says that every time) but this time im really depressed. i feel betrayed and i dont think im going to want sex for a very long time.

am i wrong for feeling this way?


Asked by Anonymous at 12:38 AM on Mar. 3, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (23)
  • Feelings are never WRONG, they just are.  I think that saying that though is a slap in the face to women who HAVE infact been raped.  I think that next time you should just say NO and then tell him to quit being pathetic and begging.  Or tell him that he can put something in your butt when you can put something in his.


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 12:41 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • i don't know if i'd call that rape. he asked you twice if you wanted him to stop & you refused. he's only a man. even if he can see your pain, he can't read your mind. you had the opportunity to get him to stop when he asked, but you refused. i'm sure if you said "it hurts too much, please stop" he would have stopped. i very much sympathize with you. but it wasn't rape. even if he's nagging, it's your body. you allowed him to. you need to take responsibility. don't be mad at him for what you allowed him to do. sorry.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • Ask him next time he brings it up if he would like to have you wear a strap-on so he can experience how painful it is.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:46 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • I think you are relating your feelings of your past rape, into this because you didn't want to do it.
    However it's not fair to demonize your husband for it either. You could have said no, and even if he was being a jerk about he probably wouldn't have forced himself on you.
    But I totally understand why you would feel that way.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 1:17 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • You have to take control of YOUR life and body. I'm sorry you're feeling depressed :( Never let him bully you into any sexual acts that you don't want. Some men feel they're entitled and their not. He should be very ashamed of himself and you should tell him what he's done to you. *Hugs*

    Answer by Kathy675 at 12:45 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • well it is partially your fault if it hurt so bad you should have made him stop maybe you should see a doctor about the pain you have but i understand and you should not have sex again until you are infact ready for it.

    Answer by MKlein at 12:53 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • It's like date rape. They bully & pressure women (to get them to give in to what they want. So it is rape.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:39 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • Dh should have respected your wishes. And you don't need to give into him because when you do, you're teaching him that it's ok to hurt you anyways. I can't imagine a husband being so selfish and knowingly hurting his wife. That's just awful!

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 12:44 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • I am going to start over and say it ALL again.  "Him saying that (meaning the constant nagging) is a slap in the face to women who have in fact been raped".  Sorry. 


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 12:46 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • Your not wrong however he is your husband and you should be able to tell him NO and he should be able to accept that. It takes over 1 year for a womens body to completely heal after giving brith this time is critical for you.
    Again he is your husband and we as wives have certain obligations to them but NOT when we are sick and he shouldn't even ask for anal sex anyway in your condition. No saying make him wait 1 year but give your self time there are other things you can do to him to satisfy him temporary.
    He didn't rape you because you consented and didn't stop him if it hurt you you needed to tell him to stop that you cant do it because it hurt and not on how you feel and if your ready to enter back into the marriage bed and talk to him openly and honestly.

    Answer by dusty1962 at 1:44 AM on Mar. 3, 2011