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3 Bumps

Has anyone else wanted to die instead of continuing breast feeding?

Seriously. I have seriously considered dying instead of breast feeding one more day. Am I just being wimpy or am I having a really hard time? It hurts when my breasts fill up, it hurts to pump, and it hurts to feed my baby. It hurts to feed my baby so much that I cry and often scream in pain. I can't even do it by myself and I have very few people who can come help me. I have also started recoiling when she is presented to me at feeding time. I'm actually afraid of my baby. I feel like the worst mother in the world and I can't help but wonder if anyone has been through breastfeeding with such pain. I hear it hurts for everyone, but I also have been told that if it hurts so much that it makes me cry and go crazy it's ok to feed her formula. I just know that if I switch to formula I'll worry about her health constantly. Plus she's feeding about every hour now and that doesn't even leave time for me to pee after burping her. I feel like I'm going to lose it any minute. I cry all the time. I'm crying now. Please please help me!!

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MamaRockett

Asked by MamaRockett at 3:48 AM on Mar. 3, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • It sounds like maybe you have an infection of the breast or a clogged milk duct. Go see your dr because beastfeeding sholdn't be hurting like that.
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 3:53 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • *shouldn't*
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 3:53 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • I thought that, too, but my milk comes out ok and my symptoms don't match any infections I've learned about. I think I might just be intensely sensitive, I hated having my nipples sucked on AT ALL before I got pregnant. I started with a shield because I couldn't get her to latch on our own, but then I started losing chunks of my nipple. A little research told me that the nipple shield was causing the damage. Then I powered through that pain until my nipples healed, still feeding my baby. Now it will go fine for a few feedings with intense pain at first and then it subsides to a minor discomfort. After a few successful feedings my nipples will become all cracked again and my daughter starts biting again and I freak out because it hurts soo very much and I'm forced to pump and bottle feed her. I feel like the bottle feeding is tripping us up, but I can't just not feed her when we're too freaked out. I feel stuck.
    MamaRockett

    Comment by MamaRockett (original poster) at 4:13 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • How old is your baby?? My daughter is 13 months and still breastfeeding. I can honestly tell you it was not smooth sailing until she was at least 3 months old. The first month was horrible. The pain of nursing was almost unbearable for me. They say that nursing should not hurt if the baby is lached correctly but I had my doubts about that. Plus, I had developed Raynaud's syndrome in my nipples which basically is a muscle spasm that cuts off circulation to the nipple. The pain of this was comparable to child birth---seriously. I remember being constantly frustrated trying to get her to latch correctly, dealing with the pain, and plus the biggest thing of all the DEMAND. At first it was like a full time job. It seemed a repeatative cycle. Then, I hit the 2 month mark and it seemed like everything was just magically started working correctly. I nursed with ease and rarely any pain. Hang in there it does get easier.
    AshellG27

    Answer by AshellG27 at 5:23 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • Also, My OB prescribed me this cream that was like a gift from god. :) IT was called "all purpose nipple ointment". It had to be made at a compounding pharmacy and it is very expensive... I want to say like $25 for a little tiny container of it but IT IS SO WORTH THE MONEY. It was the only thing that healed my nipples plus it is completely safe for baby. You might ask your OB about it. Good luck and again hang in there!!
    AshellG27

    Answer by AshellG27 at 5:29 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • I was NEVER in my life as miserable as when I was trying to breastfeed my firstborn. Like you, everyone encouraged (more like demanded) I continue but the truth is I was in extreme pain, and my little guy wasn't getting enough and I would have had to supplement anyway so I stopped.

    With my second, I did pump for 6 months because she was preemie and never learned to latch on. Again, being preemie, we had to supplement breast milk with a specialized formula that had more calories.

    Do what YOU think is best even if it goes against the breastfeeding proponents. Yes, breast is best but not everyone can do it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:29 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • I would consider a lactation consultant first but if you are really ready to stop then stop. It's your choice and only you can make it. Though I agree it is VERY hard in the first few months for you and the baby to get the hang of things. A consultant could possibly help. Good luck!
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 7:50 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • I agree with seeing a lactation consultant. But you do what is best for you and remember that thousands of babies are formula fed and thrive beautifully. I wish you all the best.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 8:19 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • Sounds like you have a serious latch issue. If it hurts only at latch on then its normal but if it hurts the WHOLE time baby is eatting its a serious latch problem. YOu need to see a LC ASAP! When you nurse does your nipple end up looking like a tube of lipstick or does it trun white? You may be having vasospasms..google it, many women have it. LC should be covered by your insurance and most hospitals or WIC programs offer them. PLEASE see someone for help. If after you have seen them things get no better then do what you have to do, no one should be in that much pain to feed their child. BFing is not about toe curling pain that you are describing.
    tabi_cat1023

    Answer by tabi_cat1023 at 8:43 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • is your baby very young? i had one baby that latched on poorly the first time, and then i was sore, and had the toe curling pain...but the pain did subside, which let me know we were on the right track! i agree with tabi cat
    happy2bmom25

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 8:51 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

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