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Why do I feel guilty! What should I do about his xbox that I just bought him?

My thirteen year old son has been begging for a xbox, and I am a single mom with four kids..trying my best to raise them and give them things that I never had. I promised him I would buy it for him when I got up the money. The entire two months he has been waiting, I had to hear about how I promised, and he wants it...and he is tired of waiting. I finally bought it yesterday. He has not been respectful towards me over the last few months, but I still got it because I felt guilty if I didnt. I dont want him to not have what others have. I want to give my kids the things in life that make them happy. Well I gave it to him yesterday, and he was mouthing off...and I told him please stop, my heart is hurting (because it really was) Felt like it was skipping beats. So I asked him to stop being rude to his sisters. He then said..what do you want me to do, Im not a doctor! So what do I do now? He is so rude, and disrespectful all the time. Doesnt do anything around the house,etc. So how do I bring myself to bring that xbox back...and not feel like complete crap for doing it? I dont know what to do.


Asked by Anonymous at 7:53 AM on Mar. 3, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • I know the feeling, I have a hard time following through or enforcing because of guilt. I grounded my son this past fall for the first time in his life and I hated it, but it had to be done. He gave me the silent treatment for 2 days, and it seriously broke me down, I cried and didn't know how to handle it. We try so hard to give them things we didn't have and to show them in ways that we love them, but loving them also means giving them rules, setting boundaries and refusing to let them walk all over us or treat as we are less than their mothers. My son and I worked it out, he was still ground but after two days we finally talked about why he was so angry about being grounded when he knew perfectly well it was his behavior that caused the consequence.
    Take it away, whether you take back or you hide it. He needs to know he can't disrespect you and talk that way. This is a perfect opportunity to start exerting authority

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 10:32 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • im with gem. when he can act right than he can have it back.

    Answer by jodi205 at 8:06 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • he may think he hates you and he'll say it a few times in his life too, and it will make you feel like crap,but your children love you and they will realize one day that you did what you could and you did it for them and they will love and thank you for it even more. be strong being a mom especially a single mom is rough.

    Answer by jodi205 at 8:08 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • i would take it away and tell him why and when he could change then maybe i will give it back and even if he says he hates you its just the age and when he gets older he will know why you did what you did just be strong and know no matter what your kids love you and you can not be walked all over by him

    Answer by devinalexis at 8:12 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • Well you dont take it back. Now you have something to take away from him that he really wants. For us here in my house thats what its all about. By the way I was also a single mom with 4 kids at one time busting my butt to try and give them as much as other kids. I was able to pull off some big buys myself and always used them for grounding. Just get it when he is at school and put it in your closet or somewhere he wont look. When he gets home you tell him why you did it and how long he has and what he has to do to get it back.

    Answer by gemgem at 7:55 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • Don't feel guilty. you are right and he is wrong... Sit him down and tell him he doesn't deserve it and tell him why. Don't argue with him. He needs to hear what you have to say. Maybe you should take it back. Be firm with him. good luck Mom. Don't show him any weakness.

    Answer by Autumn07 at 8:05 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • I know I have to do it, because its the right thing. I just dont want him to hate me inside. Because I know that he will

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:05 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • YOU work hard to give your kids everything you can give them, but sometimes giving them "stuff" isn't what they'll need to grow up to be good people. He needs to know, and you need to assert your right to be RESPECTED! He doesn't deserve LUXURIES like that if he is not going to appreciate who and where it came from.
    Explain this to him, and if he continues even after the xbox is taken then continue to take things.

    Answer by CABlonde at 8:06 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • i would take it away atleast until he apologizes to everyone and warn him that this will be what happens everytime. also, did you buy it new or did you go to the used store? if you bought it new i would take it back anyways and go to one of the used game stores and buy it will be half the price

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:07 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • I bought it new. And I could use the money, and that is what makes me so upset. I bought it even though I didnt have it! I am so confused. I know in my heart what I am supposed to do, but I guess i am a sucker!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:08 AM on Mar. 3, 2011