Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

For those who take care of forster children or those who was a foster child....

I'm looking into possibly doing foster care but I'm a bit scared. I have a 3 year old with a disability and a 1 year old. My husband is all for it because he was raised with foster children since his mother, aunts and really his whole family does it. But I want to know for anyone that takes care of foster kids, what do I have to expect? I get these horror stories from my mother-in-law of all of these problems (kids running away, older kids being promiscuous) and I'm not sure if I can handle it. Please tell me the pros and cons and how do I be a good parent. Plus if you were a foster child, why were you in the system and how did you foster parent treat you? Do you have any advise on how to treat a child that is in a situation like that?

Answer Question

Asked by floyd835 at 12:42 AM on Nov. 21, 2008 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • My parents had a foster home for over 20 years. I was 12 years old when they started so pretty much my whole life I was raised with foster children- but we called them brothers and sisters. My parents were great foster parents- they cared for and loved all of those kids as if they were their own. She still has contact with many of them. Many of them came searching for my parents once they became adults.
    I could tell you some horros tories but I don't want you to be afraid of giving a child in need a wonderful home. At first- for about 12 years my parents only took in babies. Then eventually started taking in older kids then a few teenagers. My mom thought babies would be easier but in reality, it's all the same.

    Answer by BrendaMomOf3 at 12:51 AM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • cont..........

    Some of my moms toughest times were with babies. Drug addicted babies are so hard to care for. All they do is cry. Then the ones who don't understand where mommy and daddy are and all they say is "I wanna go home". You HAVE to have a LOT of patience and understanding.
    You have to understand most if not all of these kids are from really bad backgrounds! They may not know how to act proper, and behave. You will have to teach them as you do your own.
    If you have teenagers, you need to be thier friend and their mom. These kids think the whole world is against them and they have to LEARN trust. They will test you!! You just have to have set rules and make sure they go by them rules. Understand where they are coming from.


    Answer by BrendaMomOf3 at 1:00 AM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • cont.....

    Treat the kids as you do your own. Love and respect them and be the best parent these kids will most likely ever have. Eventually, they will LEARN to trust and love. And when that does happen, you can be proud of yourself for making a difference in a child's life.

    Of course teenagers are going to push your buttons. Most teenagers do that whether they are your own or foster children. It's a normal teenage thing.

    Be prepared to have your heart broken! They tell you not to get emotionally attached to the kids but come on- who can do that? Your heart will break after you have raised these kids for a long time and then the state takes them from you and sends them home or somewhere else. It's maternal to love someone you are raising!

    Good luck and I hope you can change a LOT of lives!

    Answer by BrendaMomOf3 at 1:01 AM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • I was thinking about bringing a foster child into my home as well, I've been hearing there are alot of children out there who dont have a home, but the thing is I dont have alot of money so does the state help pay for there expenses??? I would treat them as my own and try to do all I can for them.
    but I never really thought about going through with it because of my financial situation.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:05 AM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • Yes, the state does pay you "reimbursement fees". That's what they call it. They send x amount of money a month per child. I'm not sure what it is now but I believe my parents got a little over $300 a month??? If you take special needs children, the amount is a little more. I believe you also get more for teenagers. At the beginning of the school year they give a small amount to buy school clothes with- used to only be $50. They don't pay a lot but it does help.
    We are in Florida, so I can only speak somewhat for this state.

    Answer by BrendaMomOf3 at 1:09 AM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • I am going to send you a message.
    because my 1,000 character limit has been reached lol and it wouldn't allow me to post.

    Answer by amanda_23 at 1:51 AM on Nov. 21, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in General Parenting
Birth Control

Next question overall (Food & Drink)
club soda :)