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2 Bumps

I just dont know the difference between self control and husband control...

Sometimes i feel like i'm being controlled but idk if these are the signs, could you help me out...

so i think back to last weekend and we were out to the bar, mind you, i never go out without my hubby. My sis and i decided while he was talking to a friend, to go and find a table closer by the DJ by ourselves, after a while, I offer to get us our drinks, so i have to walk across the room (its a big bar), some guy comes up to me and asks me if i'm single, "yes im married." , then he proceeds to worry about me talking to another guy while hubby may be watching me, i told him not to worry about it then he asks if i have single friends and i say no and walk away. I love dancing so i dance they way i like to but i'm not dancing with anyone else but my sis.

We get home that night and he b****es me out about moving to another part of the bar without telling him but accuses me of doing so that he couldnt see what i was doing and then tells me that i wanted to screw the man i was talking to while getting the drinks and then also asks me if i felt sexy because he flirted with me. He then says "Do you like playing with your hair and dancing like that?" - wierd.

i asked him a few questions about my credit report yesterday online so the computer recognizes me before it showed it to me, when he gets home, he texts me and asks me why i think i need to check my credit report almost like he's freaking OUT! i asked someone else why he thought my hubby would freak out over such a thing...he says "maybe because i'm showing independence and he doesnt like that."

also, my sis invited me out to girls night out last friday and he wouldnt let me go, he says its not fair on his part, i understand that BUT i have a feeling i'm never allowed to go by myself he was making up other excuses except for one that i felt that he wanted to say but didnt that i was going to screw someone...another thing is he constantly texts me if i do EVER get out of the house by myself (i dont drive), i got a tattoo on monday with my girlfriend (he stayed home cause i told him she wanted just us girls) and if i didnt answer all his questions, he would surely call me right away, but that goes for anytime i go somewhere by myself and it isnt that often.


Asked by Anonymous at 8:49 AM on Mar. 3, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • He sounds insecure and controlling. Insecure men can often become controlling because they arent secure enough in themselves or their relationship they think by trying to control you theyll feel better. Its still wrong. My first ex used to accuse me of BS all the time. Anytime I would go out with my friends he would start an argument and make me feel like crap for wanting time away from him & the kids to act my age (I was in my 20s). In the end he became abusive (physically but it started like this). Now I am remarried and I can tell you my husband is 100% secure in himself. In fact I go out alot more then people then I ever have. I ask him to come and he says no I know you need time for yourself. Hes amazing. I couldnt be with a man who didnt trust me again.

    Answer by gemgem at 8:56 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • Wow, sleeping with the Enemy. Sorry, he's being a controll freak. I wouldn't put up with that for a second

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 9:03 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • Thats scary..... Sorry but that is def a control issue

    Answer by MelissaAnn224 at 8:53 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • oh and what he wants to ground you like a child from your phone? LOL tell him to go get lost.

    Answer by gemgem at 8:57 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • Yes, he is extremely controlling...

    He is not your dad, yes you are married but you actually are separate human being from him that does not need to abide by his "laws". Have you ever wondered if he cheated? folks who throw accusations left & right at their spouse about cheating, usually cheated themselves. Subconsciously, they think "i cheated, so she could possibly cheat too" they throw their own guilt on you, so they don't have to carry the guilt all themselves.

    I'm not saying that he cheated, it's just something to think about. Any time a spouse heavily accuses the other of cheating, there is a good chance the accuser is the one who cheated.....they're just trying to throw their mess onto someone else.

    Other than that, i feel sorry for you. I would put my foot down & tell him what i will & will not put up with. I don't play around. If my DH was being that much of a dick, i would stay somewhere else.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:07 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • Oh I don't think you are sweetie. I would hate to be in that situation and I hear about it way too much. I really wish you the best of luck and hope you find your way out of it or that it gets fixed before it gets out of control. If you ever need to talk just find me on here and I'd be happy to listen and give my thought and advice.

    Answer by MelissaAnn224 at 9:00 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • He is treating you like a child instead of like his wife. This whole situation sounds very controlling and if it were me, I'd put my foot down and tell him he can either shape up or get out and see how he likes that.

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 9:06 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • He said i wanted to go with my girlfriend to get a tattoo so i could meet up with another man and cheat on him. Sometimes when i show my emotions and get irritated with him, he threatens to take my phone away from me if i dont shape up...

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:53 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • ok thank melissa and i just wanted to point out that i'm not a slut or whore in anyway, i'm very pretty but i wouldnt do that to him

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:55 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • i dont express it very much but i have had so many problems with his family and then he just suddenly had gotten worse so i just think i know what to do rather then ache and complain about it. Thank you also gem, glad someone has the same experience. The phone...yes its pathetic lol...

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:05 AM on Mar. 3, 2011