Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Does this make me ungrateful?

My mother inlaw wants to put new carpeting in my house (she is paying for it). The carpet is for the stairs, upstairs hallway and 3 of my kids bedrooms. I just want a tan carpet for all the areas. She wants to put commercial carpeting in the hallway and stairs and have different colors for the kids bedrooms. I don't like the way commercial carpeting looks and I want tan for the kids bedrooms because it goes with everything and they can redecorate their room whatever color they want, instead of going by what color carpet they have. I know it's very nice of her to offer to do this, but I think she should let me pick choose how I want decorate my house. We're heading to the carpet place soon and I'm sure it's not going to go well, sheis very difficult and I'm going to feel bad for the store people.

Answer Question
 
staceynoel

Asked by staceynoel at 9:25 AM on Mar. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Level 12 (852 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • It's your home. You are the only person between you and your MIL who decides what color carpet goes in.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:26 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • find mutual grounds... best of luck
    miritrose

    Answer by miritrose at 9:27 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • I don't think so, its your house and you have to look at it all the time. I would try to expain to her what you want and why and let her know that you appreciate that she is helping you out like this.
    jenn4443

    Answer by jenn4443 at 9:27 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • You should be able to choose whatever carpet you want for your home. YOU are the one who has to look at it everyday!
    BaileysMom476

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 9:27 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • It's a tough one, it is your house and if I were in your situation - definitely would want to choose my own color, if she's giving a gift of this, she should realize that it's a gift and give you what you want. However, as I always tell me husband when he wants to take money from his folks - they pay, they get a say.
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 9:29 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • Commercial carpet is not that bad. Especially for a hallway, stairs and kids room. As long as their is padding underneath it will still be soft and easy to clean. They come in tons of colors. I say since she's paying for it, get the commercial carpet in the color you want! Then when it's time to replace it and your paying you pick it out. Also, commercial carpets last for years. Good luck with Mama and have fun!
    mamaada

    Answer by mamaada at 9:29 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • While she is paying for it, she offered, you pick what you want. Just make sure to keep to the budget. Maybe you should discuss just how much she wants to spend up front and then get the color you want. Then when she complains about it, you can tell her that you kept within her cost allowance.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:29 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • Well, you could approach it from this angle: Tell her you've seen some beautiful houses on tv, remodeling shows or whatever, and they had the same carpeting throughout, which helped the house flow really nicely. But fyi, keep in mind that if you are getting the tan carpet, you do have kids, and spills are just about guaranteed to happen....and with tan carpet, may be hard to get stains out. Good luck!! Ohh and if she's offering to purchase it, be willing to compromise, maybe you can get her to look at one color instead of several, but try and be open to her suggestions, esp if she is willing to pay for it. Also, maybe get her son in on it too....see what he thinks
    katieandchris01

    Answer by katieandchris01 at 9:29 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • I'd go shopping with her and get the appt for them to come measure. I'd also get the name of the sales person. Once home and alone I'd call the sales person and tell him/her that I wanted tan no matter what mom tries to order. That way the sales person knows what's up. Sometimes you have to work around controlling people. Once it's in then it's in. Mom will deal with the disappointment
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:29 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • Just tell her,nicely that u appreciate what she is doing but for redecorating reasons u would prefer tan carpeting for the kids rooms. It would be easier to redecorate the rooms with a neutral color carpet. Say it nicely and tell her the offer is very nice and u appreciate it but how about for decorating purposes,lets just make it all one color. Remember just cause she is paying for it does not mean she gets to pick out the color.
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 9:29 AM on Mar. 3, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.