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How can i punish my son after what he did?

My soon is turning 3 tommorow, well everyday we go to walmart (daddy works there) and today we went and he was extremley naughty. at subway i warned him several times like 10times that if he will not sit in the booth nice he will have to go in the high chair. Well he thought i was joking with him and kept it up, so i went got the highchair and buckled him. He then promised me he was going to be nice and listen to me if i would take him out. well daddy went outside and i was talking to a friend, as i was talking my son took off into the store, so i put his brother back in the cart and chased him, and as i was chasing him he almost got hit by a cart, he thought he was being funny. So i told him that it was not funny and took his toy snake away that he brought with him.
Then as we were leaving i let him walk like i normally do in the parking lot (he knows he needs to stick with me and always does) we park in the reciving side and trucks come into unload and load and he was running around in the parking lot and i asked him nicely to get back here, and he just kept doing it, So i put his brother (5months old) in the carseat, didn't strap him, chased him, grabed my son's arm spanked him and said that was very naughty and dangerous, a truck could come and hit u, then u would get hurt.
Why did he do this stuff to me today, and what am i doing wrong with him. I talk to him and tell him what i expect of him out and at home, and tell him the consequeces for not doing it or listening. I give him most of the times 3 warnings before action, I spank him lightly to get the point across, i tell him why he shouldn't have done things and all i get from him is a laugh, and say cuz.
I even ask him why he did it, and if he knows it is naughty and he says yes and he tells me what can happen but he still does it.

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2boysyahoo.com

Asked by 2boysyahoo.com at 12:50 PM on Mar. 3, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 16 (2,515 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I would keep in the front seat of the cart the entire time you are at walmart tomorrow. Don't even give him a chance to break the rules, but explain to him why he is sitting there. The next time let him out again, if he breaks the rules give him a warning and if it happens again right back in the cart for the remainder of the trip.

    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 12:55 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • I think you are being a little bit of a push over if you are warning him 10 times before acting. He is just trying to see how far he can push right now before he has to deal with a consequence. I agree with skittles, tomorrow, he should remain in the cart. Then next time, only one warning. Good luck
    parajumper3

    Answer by parajumper3 at 1:00 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • You need to spank him hard enough that it hurts when he misbehaves in this fashion. He is being disrespectful of you, he is being disobedient to you, and he could have been killed had he been hit by a car. And you should only be telling him one time what you want him to do. Repeated warnings are telling him that he doesn't have to do what you say. At the age of 3, he is plenty old enough to understand everything you are saying to him, and he is choosing to not pay attention to you. That means you have to be more firm and more strict and more determined to make him understand that your word is law.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:15 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • You already punished him when you spanked him and took away his toy. Also, stop telling him he is naughty because he will keep being naughty because that is what he hears. STOP taking him to Walmart until he listens. Understand that he is still a CHILD and will act up when he is bored or overstimulated. Try and concentrate on the positive and tell him, loudly and a lot when he is doing good. Tell him you are proud of him when he behaves, especially in public when other people can hear the praise.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 1:20 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • Well, for starter's he's three. Three year olds are going to test their limits. It's in the job description. Your job is to set those limits and hold firm to them. 3yos also lack the impulse control to not do that thing that's calling to them even if they know it's wrong. He'll get it if you're consistent, but it will take time. He's also a new big brother. That's a major life change and even the best, happiest to have a sibling kids act out for attention when a new baby enters the mix. Carve out time for your 3yo. Make sure he's getting recognized for positive behavior and some one-on-one attention. Kids don't care if the attention they get is good or bad, they just want attention. And 3rd, kids that are bored, hungry, tired, etc will be more apt to act out. Take him when he's at his best rested and fed time of day. Keep him engaged - give him a job or make shopping a game.
    ldmrmom

    Answer by ldmrmom at 1:35 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • well most days he gets 3 warnings before acting out, and it was public and i didnt' want to have be punishing in front of people at subway.
    And as for the cart, he sits in it all the time when do our shopping, but i was in the process of putting my 5month old in the babyseat part of the cart and talking at the same time. I told him while i was doing that he had to stay put in the booth and when i am done i was getting him and putting him in next to his brother. Then thats when he took off, so i had no time to act and never finished bucking him, as i was chasing him he thought it was a game and laughing and thats when he almost got hit by a cart. Pulled the same thing in the parking lot.
    2boysyahoo.com

    Comment by 2boysyahoo.com (original poster) at 1:35 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • You can't give kids that age chance after chance. The first time my son disobeys he's reminded...if he does it again there is a consequence.

    In your situation I would have put him in the cart and he wouldn't have been allowed to walk. Yeah, he needs to learn but you said your son was running away from you in the parking lot.
    metalhealthmom

    Answer by metalhealthmom at 2:39 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • It is SO important to stick to what you say...and I'm a fan of 1,2,3.
    NEVER threaten something that you are not willing to do...ever. They will KNOW you don't mean it.

    Also, it helps me to remember: they are not doing anything "TO" us...they are just learning, growing, exploring.
    Children's impulses are not under control until almost 4 years old...they need to be CONSTANTLY reinforced, shown, prepared for things...over and over. The best thing we can do is not loose patience, and remember that if they are "acting up" there is usually something we did that helped it along. Was he out shopping all day? Did he not have time to run and play? Was he hungry? Tired? Sometimes, my 3 y/o son just needs to connect...and he'll start acting up...but If I recognize that he just needs some attention from mommy, I can prevent the situation from getting out of hand...and not reinforce attention for bad behavior.
    boomamma

    Answer by boomamma at 3:47 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • 3 warnings to many lol, I would give 1 and thats it.

    Once you deal out a punishment you need to stick with it or atleast give him a task first. Like when you put him in the high chair, make a request of him before letting him out. Make him earn that right. Like 3 minutes of no whining about getting out and just sitting there calmy. And then remove him after that.

    I agree with the spank in the parking lot. Also threaten him with a leash if he continues that and use the leash as a punishment, just like the high chair.

    Its not that he is doing to really get hurt, he doesn't understand he will be hurt, but he can understand if he does this things he will get a punishment for them.

    I also have a strict rule that anything outside of a building (unless at a park) is always hand holding. My son at 4 just naturally goes for my hand now when we get close to a exit or he jumps out of the car.
    whoreallycares

    Answer by whoreallycares at 3:50 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

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