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Facebook & cheating

I'll be up front & say I don't trust my husband. We've been living separately about 5 days out of the week due to school & work & i don't drive. We only spend the weekends together so after work, he has plenty of free time. during those 5 days, i stay with my mother with our three kids so i can walk my daughter to school across the street. I don't always know where he is when we're apart.

anyway, to get to the point. he & his friend "H" are having a lot of problems. his best friend is saying they love him but act like they hate him behind his back. it pisses me off because it's all high school drama all over again. anyway, one of his friends "M" sent him a text saying they saw him at mcdonalds with a nice looking girl who was definitely not his wife, but i knew it was me. he didn't want to correct them and say it was me. he said "just let them think what they want, you know it was you" so i left it alone.

now, i see his best friend "H"s wife's post on fb saying: "ERR... So annoyed by douch bags u say ur all about family but that girl u always chillin wid sure don't look like ur wife to me...I'm just being real..." and the comments pretty much confirm that they're talking about my husband. I don't know if they're refering to "M" seeing us at mcdonalds because that was only once, and her post says "ALWAYS" chilling with.

i called my husband and told him i want to comment & say "you should snitch, if i were that wife, i'd want to know. cheaters should be exposed" because they're beating around the bush and because i want to know if there's anything i don't know about that they are keeping from me. he was furious with me & said i was letting them win because they're making us fight. but he seems really defensive & almost in a state of panic that i'm attempting to contact her. he said go ahead & call her then & gave me her number. but he said he's the most angry and disappointed in me ever in our whole marriage because i don't trust him. but i never hid the fact from him that i didn't trust him. i just really want to know if he's cheating on me. should i just trust him and not call, or should i trust my gut and call her to find out?


Asked by Anonymous at 4:29 PM on Mar. 3, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • My husband is totally okay with me asking about his whereabouts. He is also okay with me point-blank asking if he has ever been unfaithful or if he desires to be. He also says I could call his Dad or Mom or uncle to check his whereabouts if I ever wanted to (I never have). When you have nothing to hide, you don't pull that "you don't trust me" BS. It should always be okay to ask questions and get straight answers. It should always be okay to show up where your spouse is or call anytime. It should be okay to ask "who are you talking about?" on that FB post, if your husband knew there was no chance it was him.

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 1:24 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • Ugh! Why play games, I would confront him and then call her or he can call her while you are there to tell her to butt out and that the girl was you. Preferrably on speaker phone so you can hear her response.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 4:33 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • Always go with your gut. Im not saying to believe everything that you hear but you need to go with what youre feeling. These ppl are toxic and immature. Are they worth getting involved with? If this woman gave a sh** about you then shed let you know instead of everyone on FB. Its your call. And really this one Mcdonalds issue isnt the problem. Obvi you have these feelings regardless. I dont condone spying but sometimes you have to do what you have to do. GL!

    Answer by Steph319 at 4:33 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • I would call.

    Answer by jenn4443 at 5:18 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • Call her. She seems like she wants to tell you but doesn't want to directly call you. I'm sorry but it's obvious to me that he is hanging out with someone else/

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 6:11 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • If your apart all the time and you dont trust him, why are you with him?

    Answer by MelissaAnn224 at 8:48 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • trust your gut

    Answer by letstalk747 at 4:32 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • I'd tell him that you're planning to call, and offer to let him tell the truth first, if there is any truth to be told. From past experience, I know you'd rather him man up and tell you the truth rather than hear it from someone else.

    However, if he tells you to go ahead and call, he has nothing to hide, and you do still call, then you need to take a long look at yourself and your trust issues.

    Answer by SpaceToast at 4:37 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • If he is cheating on you with her, do you really think she is going to come right out and tell you that? I hope you do not just blame the other women and not your DH. it is more his fault then hers. He kowns he is married. She might not even know he is married.

    Answer by louise2 at 4:37 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • i WISH i could spy on him. but i don't drive so i'm always at home with our three kids. he is my only method of transportation. and even if i had a ride, i don't have anyone to watch my kids. i definitely don't want to bring my kids along to catch their daddy cheating on mommy.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:38 PM on Mar. 3, 2011