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Would I be in the wrong?

My father in law is very bad about playing favortism. He hold my eight year old son(stepson), tells him he loves him, kisses on him, does everything with him while my daughter get none of this attention. I know she isnt his biological granddaughter but we have been married since both kids were 2 yrs old and she has no other grandparents beside my parents becuase her biofather and his parents has nothing to do with her. My parents dont treat them any different. What goes on in his house is their business but when you come into my house and act as if my daughter doesnt exsist we have problems. She wants him to pick her and he refuses, she wants to sit in his lap and he refuses and so on. Would I be in the wrong if I was to say something to him? I have thought about telling him that he is not welcome into my house unless he treats both kids the same.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:48 PM on Mar. 3, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • i would talk to him or have to ur husband talk to him. thts just not right. its very sad for the little girl
    mssweetwendy

    Answer by mssweetwendy at 9:50 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • Well I can certainly understand where you're coming from....but have you tried talking to him about it??? In a calm manor.... maybe call him one night after the kids are both in bed, and explain to him that your daughters feelings were hurt because she feels like gpa doesnt like her as much as stepbro... Just explain to him that you told her you were sure that wasnt the case and that shes very special to you... hopefully you will see more of an effort on his part. best of luck to you
    katieandchris01

    Answer by katieandchris01 at 9:51 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • He feels closer to his biological grandchild. That is normal some people are just that way. If it bothers you that much you can tell him he isnt welcome in his house but will your husband back that up or will it cause problems for youre marriage. Maybe your husband should stand up and say hey this really bothers my wife can you atleast try and interact with both kids. Or maybe the grandpa can just visit with the grandson at his house without you there so youre not being upset and arent watching your daughter not get the same attention.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 9:53 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • I can understand how hurtful his actions are. But, you cannot force him to care about your daughter, and i am not certain telling him he is not welcome in your house is the best solution.

    You might try to talk to him about the situation as tactfully as possible. I don't think it would be wrong to try to let him know how you feel. Tread lightly though. What does your husband think about the situation? Would he talk to his father?
    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 9:53 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • I dont think you would be wrong... I think you should approach him about it. Its not fair to your little girl. Its not the childrens fault. You should let your husband know how you feel as well. I cant beleive he has not notice the differeance between both kids. Just open up to him, express yourself. Dont start off telling him he is not welcomed. I say first talk to your husband, so that he can support you in this, and then both go talk to your farther in law. My inlaws have never met my little girl, and they adore even from all the way in mexico. Just talk it out! Good luck!
    Kandis20

    Answer by Kandis20 at 9:55 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • I would talk to him and if nothing changes I would recommend not speaking to him anymore.
    Hatsumomo

    Answer by Hatsumomo at 9:54 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • My husband has said things to him numerous times and it last for about two or three visits and it goes back to the way it was.I cant say anything to him because he has issues with women confronting him about things. He thinks that women doesnt have a say in anything. He laughes and says im stupid when I comment on anything. It doesnt just upset me, it upsets my daughter alot more than me.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:58 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • That is so sad! I would definitely say something to him about it, but try to stay calm when something is bothering you it is soo easy to get mad
    My2boys0523

    Answer by My2boys0523 at 10:03 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • If he has that view on women then maybe he treats her different not just because she isn't his grandchild but also because she is a girl. I'm not sure but perhaps just a different perspective on the issue. Sad either way but I would suggest having your husband talk to him about treating the children equally.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 10:18 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • That's tough. And really sad for your daughter. That would bother me a lot if I were you as well. I would approach him nicely and explain to him how it hurts your daughters feelings and explain that she really likes him. He may not be doing it consciously. Maybe if his attention is brought to it in a non-confrontational way, he'll realize it and change. Best of luck!
    LovingSAHMommy

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 10:22 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

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