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Is an 8 year old almost 9 year too old to be held all the time?

My father in law does this all the time with my son. I have told them that he is too old to be held all the time and they say he is just a baby and needs to be held.


Asked by tgeary at 9:52 PM on Mar. 3, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (16)
  • Well he certainly isnt a baby anymore, but I dont know that anyone has ever stopped growing from extra hugs and kisses :)

    Answer by katieandchris01 at 9:54 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • OMG, if I tried to carry one, I'd die. That's way too big for me!! LOL!!

    Answer by m-avi at 9:56 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • I think he is too big to be CARRIED around, but having a cwtch won't hurt him.

    Answer by Rae1990 at 9:56 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • Is it creepy or something? Is it like they are treating him like a baby? or is it sitting on Grandpas lap? My Granddaughter is 8 and she absolutely wouldn't stand for it. She give hugs and kisses but "I don't have to be held like a baby" If it isn't creepy, and he doesn't mind...let it go.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:57 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • He doesnt just sit in his lap he stand around the house holding him and carrying him around. My son acts like a baby when he is around, like holding his arms jump saying pick me up or uh uh(like a baby does)

    Comment by tgeary (original poster) at 10:02 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • wow....I can't even see me carrying my 6 yr old daughter or 7yr old son. He is too big for that and certainly he is your baby but not a baby.....i would put my foot down..its one thing to cuddle and stuff but to carry around like a actual baby???

    Answer by hill2 at 10:23 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • Carrying an 8 yr old is insanity. My GD is 8 she weighs 56lbs..I can't begin to carry her. Your son acting like a baby is more concerning. I would be putting my foot down on this now. Tell the inlaw or outlaws or whoever they are in plain english NO, he is not a baby. If they insist..limit time with them. With most grandparents that is enough to get their attention.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 11:01 PM on Mar. 3, 2011

  • I think all kids like to be held or picked up, sometimes. BUT, if your almost 9 year old is acting like a baby because his grandfather encourages it, I think that is just too much. I'd tell his grandfather that hug him all you want, pick him up sometimes (good for him that he can!) but that carrying him around and letting him act like a baby has to stop now. Because he is not a baby and for your FIL to say he is is ridiculous.

    It seems like your father in law is trying to keep your son "little" for too long - he needs to find a way to interact w/ your son at the age he is now.

    Answer by sweetpotato418 at 10:09 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • I think it's definitely perspective. The older you get the more you value "being a baby/child". I have a similar argument with my mom, as she wants to dress him, she tries to feed him. My 9 year old is special needs and I am trying to get him to do things for himself. He also gets more lap time than most his age. (I am guilty of holding him in my lap-but I'm unable to carry him lol) I think what your ds is getting is quality time with grandpa. I think maybe the best thing to do is talk with your ds (I've found our grandparents are unreasonable and will dismiss your concerns) tell your ds you don't want him being held, he can hang out with gpa and act like a big boy. Have consequences if he asks to be held.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 10:43 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • It's important to show them physical affection but at that age I think that I would limit the physical CARRYING.

    Answer by ethans_momma06 at 1:05 PM on Mar. 6, 2011