Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

When you are visiting in-laws, do they insist on paying for everything?

I love my in-laws. They are wonderful people, but I want to pay for some things too. I'd love to take them out, or get them a gift or something...but every time I try to do something, they end up insisting on paying for it.

Besides showing gratitude, what would you do?

(Oh, by the way, in case you're wondering, we can afford to do lots of nice things for them, but they, as the parents, feel that we shouldn't because we're the kids).

I'm not sure if relationships is the best place for this, but I wasn't sure where to put it. If you think it should go somewhere else, and you can move it, please feel free.

Answer Question

Asked by ladymomtraveler at 12:12 AM on Mar. 4, 2011 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,950 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • If you were invite to be a "guest" in thier home.

    This is proper edicated. (plz, for-give mis-spellings)

    After you go back home, send a very nice Thank You Card.

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 12:17 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • My grandmother was the same way. She would insist on paying for our airfare and car rental too! She said she wanted to see us and the kids and wanted to give with warm hands (instead of us inheriting when she died.)

    While it felt weird, we let her. It made her feel good and she was lonely in her last years. The one thing she did let me do was cook. She had loved to cook and was so grateful when I offered to cook for her.

    Find something that you can do for them. Maybe it is just acting grateful. I would be much happier with someone who was willing to get freely with love, than someone like my mom or in laws who do it grudgingly or with strings.

    Answer by balagan_imma at 12:17 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • Wow, balagan-imma, what a neat answer. I never would have thought of it that way without your story. Thank you.

    Comment by ladymomtraveler (original poster) at 12:19 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • My family always wants to pay when we go out. I make them a gift basket to say thank you.

    Answer by Hatsumomo at 12:32 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • It depends, we don't live far from my in laws so we go over there often so we don't really need money to visit - unless we need gas. But when my in laws invite us out to eat or on vacation they usually insist on paying because they invited us out. When we invite them out we insist on paying for them - I think they give in on those occasions to avoid the back and forth talk of each of us insisting to pay for the other.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:00 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • No, she's kind of cheap, which is cool.

    Answer by HKing01 at 10:26 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.