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Please help me!!

please dont bash me or anything but I realized tonight that I am slowly hating being a mom. Its a long story but to make it short... I am 21 and have 3 kids. They are 2 1/2, 1 1/2, and 6 months old. They are beautiful, and healthy and wonderful. I am a sahm and my fiance, their dad, works over the road in the oil industry. He has never really taken care of them or helped me. he is 6 months younger than me and is mature in the sense that he provides well for us, but when he is home he acts like a regular 21yr old who wants to party not parent. ATM we are living at my brothers house because we cant find a house in the area we want. Me and the kids ususally keep in our tiny room all day while my fiance hangs out with my brother. I have asked him for help soo many times and it doesnt do anything. but I'm slowly withering away. I dont enjoy my kids anymore. I think its because were always stuck cramped up together but I hate that I feel this way. Ive tried going places on my own, with the kids but its always short lived, we always come back to out cramped room and they whine and dont listen and I'm just spent. Im trying sooo hard to find a place in my area, I have the money just every place is either not big enough or taken. what should I do? I want to enjoy being a parent again, I want to hear my kids laugh and play and laugh with them. (oh and going outside to play is a no-go because I cant take my 6 month old out and like I said my fiance doesnt help)

Answer Question
 
SabrenaLeigh

Asked by SabrenaLeigh at 1:09 AM on Mar. 4, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 22 (14,998 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • aww im sorry to hear that! it sucks being stuck inside all day long, i know. my df goes to work and has band practice and has shows and stuff. he does a lot though which i am thankful for. i just would like to get out and about, maybe in time, my babe is only two months and he is my first. it sounds like you have the right idea in mind, its just getting it out in the open and doing it that is hard, especially when you dont have help. tell him you love him, but he needs to man up and be a dad first and help you. being a mom is a ft job :) (**not bashing him btw**) good luck and i hope you are able to figure something out that works for your family and more importantly you.
    Arretsmomma5

    Answer by Arretsmomma5 at 1:17 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • i would tell your boyfriend to get his act together and fast :)
    bitchy184

    Answer by bitchy184 at 1:18 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • Seriously, you need some help! Do you have a friend or family member that can watch them for a little bit to at least get away for some "me" time?
    britni11

    Answer by britni11 at 1:21 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • That really sucks, you definatly need some help, and the childrens father needs to be the one helping, but since he's not I agree with britini11....see if a friend or family member can watch your kids every once in awhile...even an hour a week could go a long way to helping you regain your sanity.
    Lucky209

    Answer by Lucky209 at 1:38 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • You and your spouse need to talk. You need to remind him of why you choose to have these children. Perhaps you should find a job, and let him stay home
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 4:21 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • Sounds like you're just cooped up. Just keep looking for a place, but that doesn't mean your husbands going to change.
    Cosetterose

    Answer by Cosetterose at 5:57 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • Please correct your inner voice. You said you are starting to hate being a Mom, but from what I read, it sounds like you love your children, but hate the circumstances you're having to mother them in. Follow the great advice above, say a prayer for change and look for ways to make your dreams happen....if not for you, then for your babies.
    Holly C.

    Answer by Holly C. at 11:18 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

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