Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

My BIL asked me not to invite his ex girlfriend to my daughter's birthday party. She has been my friend for 6 years...

What would you say/do? I enjoy her friendship and I would like her to be at the party. I have only met his new girlfriend once and we're not even Facebook friends. Clearly she is insecure. My friend/his ex, is not a trouble maker at all and would never start any problems. Also, they have been broken Up for 3 years.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:43 AM on Mar. 4, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • I would invite her and tell him she is your friend and he is not to pick who you invite.
    older

    Answer by older at 7:45 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • Id invite her. Its your kids party and honestly he doesnt have any say. Odds are the new gf is insecure and again thats her problem. She will have to get over it.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 7:45 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • i would not invite her. birthday partys and holiday, etc... i would put my families wishes first unless i just didnt want my BIL to come.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 7:47 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • Hmm.. you can judge who is more important to you and make your choice...
    AnuMeha

    Answer by AnuMeha at 7:47 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • If you wanted to be charitable I suppose you could ask your friend to come an hour late and tell BIL that she isn't coming for the first hour. That way, he and his GF can stop by without seeing your friend. I wouldn't do that, but I wanted to give you the option. BIL could also just leave his GF at home since she is the one who feels uncomfortable. There is no way that I wouldn't invite my friend though!
    momofkids

    Answer by momofkids at 7:48 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • I would tell him that I can't do that, that she's my friend, and he's going to have to deal with her from time to time at things like my kids' birthday parties.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 7:53 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • NO ONE would dictate to me who I can or cant invite to my home for any reason. And I would certainly never dissappoint my child, to placate/enable the insecurities of an adult. BIL & ex have been apart 3 yrs. That is MORE than enough time for him to adjust. If his new GF feels threatened by someone he hasnt been with in 3 yrs, then that's THEIR problem to deal with; not yours. Your home, your rules. He's your daughter's uncle, & if he wants to be a part of her birthday he can either come alone, tell his current GF to stay home, or attend with him providing she conducts herself like an adult. On another note--do you realize how hurt your friend of 6 yrs would be if you excluded her from the party? ask yourself if your BIL's current GF is worth ruining that friendship for. His request you do so, is extremely self-centered & selfish.
    RubyinPA

    Answer by RubyinPA at 7:56 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • Birthday parties are for the people who love our children. If your brother-in-law chooses to not attend, that is his choice.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:12 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • I would invite her. I don't know how you are but my friends are family and my children consider my friends aunts and uncles
    curciedanielle

    Answer by curciedanielle at 8:28 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • If they abre both mature why not? But in my husband's ex's case she was a basket case. We showed late and she got very nervous and moved into the other room to watch tv and kept giving us dirty looks. Then her husband started playing cards ans we started laughing at what he was saying and honestly I did not know it was her man now ex husband, but she got so stressed out that she started getting lud and told her husband they had to leave asap. I have been there done that and sometimes it works out other times not so much. I am so gald they kids are big now but I would not reccomend it unless you can have a laugh out of it, or just ignore the girl. I took it as a joke , really it is awkward.... But to each his own I hated it and so glad that it will never happen again....
    mamacita69930

    Answer by mamacita69930 at 8:43 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.