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Not sure how to handle this?

We have a friend that has a dd thats our dd's age. Almost 4. And their dd is wanting to spend the night at our house, Which I really don't mind bessides the fact that she's not potty trained, I guess she has no intrest..So I have 4 kids and my dd has been potty trianed since 2. And am I being selfish here or what. But I am sorry I do not want to have to change diapers of our visitor..I would be different if she was a baby but she's almost 4. I undrstand that some kids take longer to potty train, such as my first. But I am out of that stage myself. You know what I mean? So do think that I am being selfish? And how do I tell her the reason I don't want her over yet?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:40 AM on Nov. 21, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • Are you being selfish? Yes and no. As you are probably aware or you wouldn't need to ask. Changing someone else's child's diaper is yuckier than changing your own child's. And changing a 4 year old is worse than a baby. But your little girl would probably love to have a friend sleep over and would have a lot of fun with this "big girl" event.

    Before you tell her no, consider that seeing your daughter using the potty may very well push her over the edge into wanting to learn herself. Also, does she wear pullups that she can change herself, at least for pee?

    If you do let her stay, be careful about any comments you make. Your daughter won't be polite - "You still wear diapers!?!?" - so you will need to step in and make neutral comments like 'You wore diapers before you learned to use the potty. Susie will switch to big girl panties too once she learns to use the potty."

    Answer by kaycee14 at 11:49 AM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • I think that is very reasonable. Waiting until she is potty trained is fine. I would gently let the Mom know your apprehension. The Mom should be very active in potty training her and it may screw up there routine any way or at least that is what I would say...

    Answer by Sarahedger at 11:49 AM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • If the other mom has fewer children than you suggest that the girls stay the night at her house, just say that you think with that many it would be a bit much to have her spend the night there. My son is an only, we hosted all his sleepovers when he was younger because we had the only and the others had siblings.

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 12:05 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • Whether or not you are being selfish, I would agree with your point of view. I think that the other mom should realize that she should potty train her daughter before she sends her to your house. It is not like you are family. I agree with the other poster. She should offer to host the sleepover.

    Answer by AliMom714 at 12:33 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • This could be a good opportunity for the other mom. She could tell her dd that if she wants to spend the night at your house, she needs to learn to use big girl panties. I wouldn't want to change the diaper of a 4 year old either if it wasn't my child.

    Answer by TheDragn01 at 12:58 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • Well if the little girl is almost 4 then she knows when she has to potty and everything it is just her being lazy. I would tell the little girl she can stay only if she uses the big girl potty.

    Answer by imtheonlysane1 at 3:26 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • How do you know she is being "lazy"? That is a pretty big assumption. Maybe she has a medical reason that she is not trained yet. Geez.

    But to answer the question, no you are not being selfish. How close are you with the other girl's family? Would it be possible for your daughter to stay over there?

    Answer by Crazy-Steph at 11:36 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

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