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3 Bumps

My son is mad that his sister is dating his friend

I have a 17 year old son and a 15 year old dd. My dd wants to date her brother's 16 year old friend when she turns 16 and is allowed to date ( in 2 weeks). He is a good boy and is over quite a bit, he came to me and asked if I would be ok with him asking her out when she turns 16, I am fine with it and I thought it was nice that he asked (I guess since he is over a lot). I did tell him that since he is interested in my dd, he can't spend the night here while she is here and he can't be over when I am not home if she is here, which he understood and said that his mom said the same thing. The problem is, my son is so mad. He wants me to tell his sister she can't date this boy, I don't think that's fair, just as I wouldn't tell him he couldn't date one of her friends if he wanted to. Am I wrong? I asked him if there was a reason (like he isn't as nice as I think) and he said no, it's just cause he's my friend

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:53 AM on Mar. 4, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (16)
  • Very typical of brother to not want his sister to date a friend, he will get over it. You are not wrong he is...

    Answer by older at 9:55 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • I understand where your son is coming from, if they date and something bad was to happen then your son might lose a friend because he would feel uncomfortable coming to your house anymore because of your daughter.

    Answer by jenn4443 at 9:56 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • Aww,he's worried about his sis's feeling!

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 9:59 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • Well yeah I can understand why he would be mad....This is his friend, his buddy, the guy your son hangs out with. If he is dating his sister, then he is going to hang out with her. Plus I'm sure your son doesn't want to even think about his friend kissing his sister. But you also can't stop them from liking each other. So I'd just let this work itself out..LOL Maybe just let him voice his feelings about it without any judgments.


    Answer by Momforhealth at 10:00 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • He may not be so worried about his sister's feelings. When I was 19, I started dating my best friend's brother. She was so angry - she felt like he was stealing me from her. She was completely focused on herself - and it ended up destroying our friendship because she only cared about herself and not about her brother or myself finding who was supposed to be THE ONE for us.... we've been married 20 years in August. I learned a side of her during the situation that has been so clear ever since.... she's selfish.

    NOW, that is probably not the case with your son but he's probably well aware that his friendship will change.

    Answer by AAAMama at 10:05 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • I also wanted to add... your son knows a side of the boy that you don't. You might ask why he's so concerned. After all, he's heard his friend talk about girls he's dated or liked... and your son really might not want your daughter to be the girl who has been viewed like that...


    Answer by AAAMama at 10:08 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • no your not wrong mom your son would be ok & he will get over it but your daughter has the right to date whoever she wants aslong as he is nice & treats her right & respectful & it seems like he is from what i see from your ?

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 10:23 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • He may just be a little envious that his friend has an interest in her a bit more than him. He will learn to cope. Let them date if they wish. :)

    Answer by Memigen at 10:23 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • He's 17. Of course, he's selfish. However, 17 & 16 is a good time to start learning some communication skills about the hard stuff. I think you should encourage him to talk to his sister about his concerns. He should also talk to his friend about it too. He's told you that it is not about how his friend treats girls, just he doesn't like it. I don't think you should intervene other than to encourage communication. They are 16 & 17. Chances are the relationship won't last anyway. In 10 years, they'll laugh about it.

    Answer by mrsfitz05 at 10:24 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • Your son knows him better than anyone. He may know things about the boy that he doesn't want his sister around. Remember Eddie Haskel from Leave it to Beaver? He was nice and polite and did all the right things in front of adults and was the opposite when just around friends? Personally, I'd listen to your son. He knows something that you and the boy's mom doesn't know.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:38 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

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