We have never been married, but we are on year 13 together...I would say the biggest advice is to not withhold affection when you are angry, but sometimes that physical closeness (not sex, necessarily, but touching or cuddling), is what he or both of you need.
Also, When he tries to apologize or move past something, let him. Don't hang onto anger because it will not help the situation. Neither will expecting him to read your mind.
Finally, don't expect him to agree with you on everything. You chose him...a separate human being...because you think you mesh well and can have a good future together...that doesn't mean that you're supposed to agree on everything for the next 60 years.
Granted, we have never had to go through serious things like abuse or cheating, but smaller day-to-day arguments. I just try to make home a pleasant place to come home to. I try to keep humor and joy in our house. It makes the arguments easier.
at 10:33 AM on Mar. 4, 2011