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Resentment

My bf and I were talking the other night, and I told him I felt like he had resentment towards me. (I was thinking along the lines of maybe us having our daughter sooner than we planned, or something to that effect). He told he he wanted me to be skinnier. I gained 55 pounds from going on birth control (this was before I even met my bf), and he met me after I gained that weight. I'm back to my pre-pregnancy weight now. He 's only seen pictures from before I met him, when I was skinnier. I've been the same weight/size the whole time I've known him (besides the pregnancy). I didn't get upset because sure, I'd love to be back to my old weight, but I'm the same as when he met me. I don't understand. I I just don't even want to be naked around him or eat around him now. I feel ugly.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:59 AM on Nov. 21, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • omg I would feel terrible if my hubby said that! But I guess I do have to understand because my sister's bf is the same way. She's not even that overweight. Well, my hubby says he knows I've gained weight because of our child and he doesn't even care if I lose it. Last night he was like, "You don't need to change if you don't want to, I love you." LOL sounds sweet but he's usually not romantic at all. I don't want to make you feel bad, but is he with you because he loves you or does he really care about how you look? If you really want to stop feeling so hurt, you need to talk to him. Let him know that it hurts to know he's not satisfied with you. You guys need to work it out together, not just one person keep it inside. I mean, you want to be happy and be able to be comfortable naked around your own bf right?
    sweetvietchic

    Answer by sweetvietchic at 12:09 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • Um...unless your bf is some sort of Greek God of perfection...or Brad Pitt...I'd tell him to kiss my big, fat ass! In the 10yrs my husband and I have been together I have gained 40lbs and gone from a size 10 to a size 16 and my boobs are not as perky and I have stretch marks and a belly pooch. But, I've given him 2 beautiful children and we have built a life together and he knows I got his back no matter what! Plus, he also knows he's not Mr. Perfect either...neither of us are perfect people...just perfect for each other. When I talk about how fat I feel he just says 'Hush...you're beautiful and smoking hot and I love you...come over here so I can feel you up!' Tell your bf to take a long walk off a short cliff and get a grip.
    mizkaye

    Answer by mizkaye at 12:24 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • lots of men feel this way and i think they love them but men want women to look good too. i dated a guy who said that he wanted his wife to be skinner but he never told her that she was fat from the baby. would it be to hard to loose the weight. so you were the same weight before the baby but maybe he is wanting you skinnier then that ever since he saw that picture of you. he just kept that a secret. well some women just need to be accepted at their weight cause they just can't loose it. so instead of telling him how you feel cause i'm sure he knows what he said hurt your feelings tell him i'm not sure i can loose all that weight so maybe you should accept me for who i am. the sooner he accepts this the better. i believe anyone can loose weight.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 12:30 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • I think he's using your weight as an excuse or cover up for another issue. My husband once pulled this crap on me, saying he was no longer attracted to me because of my weight even though I was thinner after my pregnancies than before. Turns out HE was cheating and didn't have the balls to admit that, rather choosing to try to drive me away with these lame-o excuses. There are obviously some underlying issues taking place and you both need to identify them so that you can address them. I wish you the best.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

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