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We are at our wit's end with our son!

He is 16, and in hs. We have had problems with his grades, and his motivation. We took him to a therapist as well. We learned that he smoked pot over the summer and stole money from us knowing we were in the middle of foreclosure. We just moved to a very nice rental and just registered him for his new hs. He purposely missed the bus the second day. I got up at 5:45 am to wake him up and told him he had to be at the bus stop by 6:25. I came downstairs 15 minutes later and he was on the couch. I told him he had to get moving. He went back to his bathroom and said he was going. He didn't leave on time and he missed the bus. I am furious because I reminded him yesterday and today to be on time! My husband and I are annoyed. He pulled this nonsense at the other home. I took all of his privileges away like his phone, computer, etc. Nothing seems to be working. I took him out and bought him new sneakers and a few shirts the other day for his new start. He is taking advantage of us. I am planning to walk him to the bus stop on Monday because I honestly feel like he needs to grow up and start acting like a mature teen rather than a baby so if he is going to act like an immature baby maybe he should be treated like one. Just thinking out loud due to mere frustration. Any ideas?????? Thank you!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:55 AM on Mar. 4, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (9)
  • I totally agree with you!  Act like a baby, get treated like one!

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 11:56 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • I agree also, but why not take the time to drive him yourself.
    older

    Answer by older at 12:01 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • Do it. I guarantee that having his mom walk him to the bus stop will be great motivation to get there on his own from now on. If you suspect him of pot use, tell him because you can't trust him to take care of himself, you will be conducting random room searches. If you find any substances in his room then you give him a consequence. He will not be allowed to leave the house except for school which you will be taking him to and picking him up from and he will be required to turn out all pockets once he's picked up. If he is still finding a way to smoke or is still managing to get hold of it, put him into rehab. It may seem harsh but it's often the only way to get through to kids who act like this short of sending them to one of those TV shows like world's strictest parent's.
    MamaStuart

    Answer by MamaStuart at 12:04 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • I am sick with the flu so I couldn't drive him today.....I could barely drag myself out of the bed the 3 times to remind him to not miss the bus....Otherwise I would have driven him.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:05 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • I am so sorry you are going through this . . . it is soooooooo hard to watch a young and able body move through life sooo slowly . . . .

    Firstly, because you know he is already using drugs, is stealing, and is exhibiting that type of behavior, please make sure you are in his business to make sure he is not involved with any more serious drugs. Todays drugs are cheap and really really easy to get. About 1 in 10 HS kids has tried heroin . . can you believe that???? It is probably worth a room search, just so you know for sure.

    You have absolutely the right idea with everything that you have done. Take away all of his priveleges, including friend time, and let him earn it back slowly by getting up for school in time and getting good grades. The only thing that I wouldn't limit is school sports .This is the time to be strict, because in 2 years youwant him to have a strong work ethic, whether he is in college or working
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 12:05 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • Moving is traumatic for kids. Starting a new school near the end of the school year can't be easy either. He probably doesn't know anyone. Why not try to get to know your neighbors with kids his age so he can feel comfortable going? See if he wants to go to high school online. Maybe he will finish this yr on line and next year he may feel better about starting a new school once he meets friends over the summer.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:06 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • I do random searches and random drug testing and so far, it's all good. I am more concerned now with this lack of responsibility and motivation and or poor judgement. Just the other day, I noticed marks all over the freshly painted/drylocked basement walls. He was skateboarding down there and making marks all over the walls with his board. He didn't stop to think that perhaps he should ask if that was ok. Then he jumped out of his bedroom to scare his father and his father recently had a bypass on his heart. My husband was laying on the floor and felt pain in his chest and arm! He told him to call his mother and he didn't. I heard my husband call my name so I ran up. Luckily my husband was just startled but what if something serious happened?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:15 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • I would be in that ass. It sounds like he is being very lazy and selfish, and as you said, definitely taking advantage of you. I would not let him go anywhere or do anything except for school, and if it takes you walking him from class to class to make sure he goes, DO IT. My father definitely would have done something like that to me, and embarrassment can go a long way with teenagers.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 1:39 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • have a friend that just went throught that with thier son they put him out the door took the keys away from him told him if you dont like it here leave follow the rules. he left went to live with sister didnt listen to her. got get out went back home he's doing better know dont give up stay on him good luck
    monteza3

    Answer by monteza3 at 2:04 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

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