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Why???

Do some parents feel that parenting stops after the legal age?Am I the only one out there that feels that it never stops????no matter how old they get?
If you have a child that was never taught to be considerate or responsible, then they reach the legal age and they want the adult to magically be responsible and considerate?

 
older

Asked by older at 12:08 PM on Mar. 4, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 69 (2,285,492 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • i don't know my mom is still my mommy, when i'm sick she comforts me, when i'm starved she feeds me and when i need to talk shes there to listen..and same goes for her...love ya mom..yup i am almost thirty years old but your still my mommy lol
    raynebowstarz

    Answer by raynebowstarz at 12:19 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • i think at a point it doent realy stop but should be cut back on a good bit!
    myboysRmyhero

    Answer by myboysRmyhero at 12:10 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • And if your adult enough to marry, you SHOULD have your own residence.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • We should do our job properly when they are still young and raise them to be able to go out into the world as independent, capable, contributing adults. BUT our LEVEL of parenting should not be what it is at age 18, 19, 20, and up as it is when they are 1, 2, or 3. We, as mothers, should be able to allow our children to fail, to stumble, to fall, and to pick themselves up and start again. We should not be there ALL the time with a ready hand out. We should be there waiting for them to ask for help and not always offering it.

    This includes ALL children, we should be teaching them how to be adults, how to be independent, how to contribute to society, how to be good parents themselves, how to be in a good and healthy relationship, etc.
    When we have done all of this, then our role as parents will change. We are still and always will be parents to our children, but our relationship with them changes.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 3:32 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • That's a failure of parenting when the person was a child. Who's to say that it would be effective when the child becomes an adult?
    CraftingMama

    Answer by CraftingMama at 12:12 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • I still "parent" my child but I let him make him most of his own choices. He does ask for my guidance quite often. He still lives at home (at 20). If I see him about to make a big mistake I do talk to him about it but in the end he's the master of his own destiny now. I did tell him that before he & the girlfriend get married they better have a plan to get a place because she's not moving in here. So, now he has a goal in life besides buying himself a new car!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:13 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • That's a failure of parenting when the person was a child. Who's to say that it would be effective when the child becomes an adult?

    I can tell you for sure that none of those things were instilled as a child your chances are high you are going to have a irresponsible inconsiderate adult as a result.
    older

    Comment by older (original poster) at 12:22 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • rayne, my kids feel the same way you do and they are 33, 32, and 23.
    older

    Comment by older (original poster) at 12:23 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • myboysRmyhero: My son has a learning disability. Sometimes he just needs someone to make a choice FOR him. I should have been more clear here....as in...sometimes he just says "Mom! Just tell me what to do here. I am confused". I could be a hard ass & just say "No, you're an adult now. You do it". But as I see it, he's still learning. When I was his age I had already been on my own for 2 yrs with NO guidance or anyone to ask for help. I made a LOT of mistakes that could have been avoided if I had someone to ask for help. I feel privileged actually that he trusts my judgment enough to ask me for my opinion. He doesnt always do what I suggest but at least he asks for the input.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • anon, And if your adult enough to marry, you SHOULD have your own residence

    and I am sure a lot of them would rather have their own too, only sometimes they need a helping hand and who better than a parent to lend it.
    older

    Comment by older (original poster) at 12:43 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

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