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my grandpa passed

he died at 9 40 am and i got a call from my dad at 955.... i didn't know what to say i have never been an emtional person when it comes to death... i told my dh and cried one tear.. and i dont know if i go to the funeral if everone will think i am weird by not crying or what... what do u think or have u experienced this??


Asked by navywifemomkoch at 12:21 PM on Nov. 21, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • no your not weird. when my grandma died i only let a few tears come out then i was fine until the funeral. i think its just shock or you were expecting it already. now whenever i think about my grandma i cry she was only 63 and died from cancer.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:24 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • Wow, I honestly don't know what to say. My Grandpap died lastnight at 10:45. My Dad was a mess and I didn't know what to say either, it is one thing for us to lose our grandparent but it is their parent, totally different on the grief scale. I tend to shut my feelings off at times like this so I don't really cry either. I don't think anyone will think you are weird at the funeral, it is who you are. There are other people that aren't very emotional either. Good luck.

    Answer by KlousMomi at 12:25 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • You do what is best for you I am sorry for your loss dont let anyone make you feel bad when my father passed I did not cry until I was home alone one day may god be with you and your family


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:26 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • I'm sorry for your loss. Yes, go to the funeral if you want to. It's okay to not cry. Everyone responds differently to death. Not everyone cries and sobs and wails about it. And that's okay. And some people just prefer to cry and grieve in private. I've been to LOTS of funerals, and I've seen LOTS of people at those funerals who didn't shed a single tear. That's alright. Nobody thought anything about it, as far as I knew. In fact, I think people are generally consumed by their own feelings at funerals and don't pay a heck of a lot of attention to others.

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 12:26 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • I'm sad for your loss - mine died when I was 3 and I still miss him. No one will expect you to cry at the funeral, there is nothing wrong with showing strength. I went to a funeral for a friend's grandfather and could not stop crying - don't know what came over me - but the relatives did not cry at all - they even invited me to a baseball game afterward but I was too sad to go.

    We all mourn in different ways and we all know that we are hurting inside but we can control ourselves (sometimes) and not shed a tear. Maybe you are meant to be there to comfort those who need it more and to provide some healing.

    Answer by Avon_Calling at 12:29 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • I'm really sorry for your loss, my grandpa is in the hospital right now and my stepsisters just lost their grandpa a week ago.

    There's no "wrong" way to grieve. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If you find yourself bawling in public and private, that's fine. If you never cry again, that's fine too. The only time you should be concerned is if you feel like hurting yourself or anyone else. Then you should seek help immediately. But as long as you feel in control of your emotions, do whatever you need to.

    Answer by caitxrawks at 12:33 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • Im sorry to hear that i lost my grandfather 2months ago to a massive heartattack.
    Your not wierd many people show there emoitions different and alot of it has to do with how close you are to those who pass away. I cried for many nights and days and even still when i stop and think about my grandfather i cry but we were very close and he was pretty much my father in life. You do whats best for you but i dont think i would miss his funeral becuz your worried about what others will think of you cuz you might not cry. if you miss it you will regret it.

    Answer by Mommy2B04 at 12:37 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • I'm so sorry for your loss! Everyone grieves in their own way. Right now you are probably in shock and things are just starting to sink in. You may or may not cry at the funeral. That's normal. You may not cry at all...or 3 months from now you will let loose. Everyone is different so don't think you are abnormal at all!

    Answer by companygoddess at 1:38 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • If its really emotional for you then eventually you need to let it out. Its good to do that. When my grandfather died, I just was numb. No one close to me had ever died before and I didn't cry until the funeral. When I saw my grandmother cry, I couldn't hold back the tears. It still hurts to think about it. I held it in as long as I could. I just don't like to feel weak and thats what I feel when I cry. I realize now as I get older that its okay to cry and its okay to be weak. I usually go that way when I am alone or with my husband. No one else gets the pleasure of seeing me break...LOL.....Don't hold it in if its really bugging you.

    Answer by momofsaee at 3:44 PM on Nov. 21, 2008