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2 Bumps

I feel like the worst mother in the world.....

I'm mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. I work nights and get 2-3 hrs of sleep a night, I'm trying to find a new place to live because I left an abusive relationship and money is so tight I don't know what to do.... I am being very short tempered with my son and I feel horrible. Plus I don't have the energy to take him to the park and I just want to cry. It's not his fault I'm in this situation and I just feel like a failure.

 
June_Mama09

Asked by June_Mama09 at 2:12 PM on Mar. 4, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 26 (26,054 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I agree, cut yourself some slack. When I was on my own and making a life with 4 kids in tow, no child support, and working all the time I was exhausted too. Just remember everything is temporary and in time everything tends to fix itself. What youre going through right now wont last forever, its just having to go through it to get to the other end to something better that tends to suck. I didnt always get to take my kids to the park, or do any after school things with them back then. Now though, everything has turned around and my life is great. Back then I felt like you did, just keep your head up!
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 2:17 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • Well for starters, how about cutting yourself some freaking slack mama!  And CRY, get it out.  I agree, it's not his fault but come on, give yourself some credit also.  Your in a tough bind, it's wearing on you. 

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 2:14 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • First of all take a Deep Breath! All mothers want to do whats best for their child/children, and sometimes we usually dont feel like thats enough. Pat yourself on the back and focus more on the positive things you are doing, instead of what you are not doing. You left an abusive home, and you are working hard to provide a living for your son. Youre not a failure, youre a determined, hard-working, ambitous mother who has potiental. All you need is what all mothers need at rough times like this, and that is "Sometime to yourself!" Take some time to catch up with your rest, take a bath, collect yourself, and ask a friend or a relative to babysit for a few hours. You are working hard and making sacrfices and all of it will pay off in the long run! :D
    navajomama7

    Answer by navajomama7 at 2:19 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • Oh my! Hon, I get it. We have those moments where we just can't shoulder any more and we have no fuse left before we lose the temper. BUT, seriously, give yourself a break here. You are NOT the worst mother. You took your child out of a bad situation and are working your tail of to give you both a better life. That's called being a good mom - you're putting yourself through the ringer to do what's right for you and your kid. I commend you for it.

    Have you sought out support? Is there a women's shelter or support group for abused women in your area? It sounds like you need some help shouldering the stress. Some communities have help lines that will direct you to resources that can offer support. I can think of two such places in my community that would field a call and help you find the resources that might offer you a little more than you have today - a support group, help finding affordable housing, etc.
    ldmrmom

    Answer by ldmrmom at 2:20 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • Ok, so you're not taking him to the park and that's a bummer, but you got him away from an abusive relationship you were in so I think you're doing good here. Try to make one small effort a day to show him your love and affection- a kind word before school or a warm hug before bed. And remember that it's ok to give yourself a time out, too, so that you can take a few breaths before you react with impatience or unkind words. We are all doing our best and that's hardest when times are tough, but you get thru this to get to the other side and then it gets better. Hang in there and don't be too hard on yourself.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 2:21 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • You are not a bad mother, you are doing what you can for your children, you can only stretch yourself so much and you are at the max, so this does not in any way or shape make you a bad mom!!!!!!
    older

    Answer by older at 2:22 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • Sweetie, you're not a failure or a bad mother. You have a hard dish in front of you and it's easy to get exhausted and overwhelmed by it all. My suggestion is to ask a trusted friend or family member to take your son for the day. Then use that day to sleep and relax. Maybe even ask a friend/family member to help babysit a few times a week so you can have time to yourself.

    You are doing everything you can to keep yourself and your son safe, fed, and with a place to live. It's hard work that you have, but you're doing what's right for you and him.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 3:09 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

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