Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Do you think that when you are married , banking should be a joint effort? or just the husbands job?

I thought that when you get married that everything should be 50 / 50 , but my husband does not want to give it up. When I get my paychecks, he plans for that to..... Any advice?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:22 PM on Mar. 4, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • this is what i heard suze orman say and i thought it was a great idea. being that my mother married a man who says his money is his money and my moms money is her money and they do split everything 50/50 but that is not fair. what she said is that you both take out 30% of your own personal income to keep for yourselves and the rest goes to paying for your total bills. which if he makes more means he pays more of the bills or vise versa but it's still fair cause it should be according to what your individual incomes are. you might want to her to her site and try to find it and look it up but i think that was how she said it unless it was backwards were you both take the 30% to pay bills and kept the difference but that doesn't seem right to me.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 5:46 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • Joint of course. I detail out our bills and my husband makes the payments. Just because I don't work doesn't mean I shouldn't have a say in where the money goes.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 3:23 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • Id just tell him if he wants everything seperate then he doesnt get any money from your paycheck. It isnt that way when you are married. You are either a joint situation where you share a bank account and money, or if he wants it seperate then you get to keep your check and you split bills.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 3:23 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • My personal thoughts.

    There is no one set way that every married couple should handle their finances. Each couple must handle their finances in whatever manner is best for them and in whatever manner the 2 mutually agree on. That's key. Mutually agreeing. Couples need to sit down together, and make a financial plan in regards to how finances will be handled, who will handle them..etc..

    If I were in your shoes. My husband and I would need to sit down together and work out out a financial plan that we both agreed upon.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:51 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • I won't let my husband anywhere NEAR our finances, heh. I'm better at it than he is, and he freely admits that, so he trusts me to handle everything. We have a joint checking account we use for all our recurring bills, and one joint credit card. I have my own credit cards, checking account, and savings account. He can have his own checking account if he wants to, but he decided against it, because he knows he's bad with money. He does have his own credit card, but it has a low limit.

    That is not to say we keep secrets from each other, mind you. We just decided I was the better choice when it comes to handling our finances.
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 4:28 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • In my experience, joint checking is seriously over-rated. I prefer having my own account. That might be a good route for you too. It sounds like your husband is trying to make all the decisions without consulting with you, and that has got to be stressful for you. GL!
    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 3:33 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • When I was working, both our checks were put into the same bank account, and we wrote checks for bills and everything else out of it. I don't understand those who keep everything separate and have to ask to 'borrow' money from their spouse if they need it. It also helps if you have a budget or a financial plan, I think. That way you know where EVERY PENNY is going, pretty much. Hope this helps!
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 4:29 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • It's joint, should be 50/50. There is no "his" money or "my" money but I am the one who manages the finances, pays the bills, does the investing, etc.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:36 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • Whether he likes it or not everything obtained during a marriage is considered a marital asset except for gifts or inheritence. His income is your money too and vice versa. You have every right to a say in how that money is spent. As a partner who loves you he should want you to feel included, valued, and equal in your relationship. If he does not feel this way then I have to wonder why he got married. His mentality is anti the spirit of marriage and union.

    I see this over and over and It saddens me that people do not discuss their feelings on how things should be handled BEFORE getting married but hopefully you two can work this out.
    kayslay

    Answer by kayslay at 4:43 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • Yeah a lot of others are talking about keeping it separate. I did that with an ex boyfriend that i cohabitated with. We added up our income and determined who made what percentage of the pie. I made 58% of our total income and he made the other 42% so I paid 58% of the bills and he paid 42% It can get complicated when it comes to small stuff like necessities and groceries but we were not stingy people so we never counted pennies for fairness we just took turns and made sure we both felt like it was equal. Luckily we always did. Communicate and anything is possible :) GL
    kayslay

    Answer by kayslay at 5:04 PM on Mar. 4, 2011