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5 Bumps

Is this wrong? adult content

I just found out I am pregnant last month, I am 9 weeks along. The father isn't anyone who should be a father, I was drunk and screwed up and had sex with him(this is the first time I have ever done something like this) . Well I told my best friend about it and he is the only one who knows, we have known each other since we were 10 and I love him, and I know he loves me, there was just never the right time to date and I think we always worried that if it didn't work out, we wouldn't be friends anymore. Anyway he asked if I had told the father and I haven't. Two days later he came over to my apartment with an engagement ring. He said he would be asking me if I would date him but we have known each other 15 years and dating is to get to know someone , what more does he need to know. He asked me to marry him and to let him claim the baby as his own, never telling anyone. I know this would mean the bio father would never know but he is not the kind of man who is ready to be a dad (no job half the time, shares a house with 5 other people, drinks all day) and my friend is a great man and I know he would love this baby and the baby would have a better life. Is it wrong for me to do this?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:00 PM on Mar. 4, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (30)
  • Do what is best for your child, and you will not be wrong.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:01 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • Do what works for you and your family babes!  No right or wrong answer.  Nothing is black and white.  There will be consequences regardless of which one you choose.  Think about all the variables and pick out the one that works for your family the best.  :)

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 5:02 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • Do you love him?
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 5:02 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • oh my my my..... one day it could come back and bite you in the butt.... and Im a sickler for honesty, morality, and doing thinks the 'right' way.... but if this fella really is as wonderful as you make him sound.... this could be an amazing blessing for the little baby inside.

    but do not tell ANYONE of this, ever...... unless there is a medical need to know, you go to your grave with this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:03 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • yes I love him, he is my best friend. We have never had sex but always flirted and we have had these feelings for a long time
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:03 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • Thats tough. My concern is, if the baby is born and looks identical to the bio father, then what? I am assuming they are of sth same ethnic background? I think I would tell the bio father. Good luck with your decision
    parajumper3

    Answer by parajumper3 at 5:03 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • its not up to you decide what kind of father the bio-father will be. babies can change people, for the better or for the worst. it would be wrong & extremely selfish. do the right thing, and through his actions you will learn what kind of father he will be.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 5:03 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • I think if I was in this position I would say yes, and I would probably would keep my mouth shut with the Bio father.

    not what many would agree with but I do think that's what I would do.

    good luck to you!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:03 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • Honestly, the bio father should be told let it be up to him if he wants to be a part of childs life. Maybe it will be a wake up call.
    That is a very great man you have as a best friend. It takes a lot to rasis an other persons child
    red_head_mommy2

    Answer by red_head_mommy2 at 5:04 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • Id do it. Why get into any custody or child support issue if you have a good man willing to step in. On top of it, when the baby is born if he signs the birth cert and doesnt contest the baby as his own then you wont have to worry about dna or any of that. One of my friends had a similar situation & her husband adopted her dd 8 yrs in. She had to go through the whole term of parental rights, years without child support, visits or any of that. Her dd doesnt even know she is adopted now, shes never known anyone but her dad whose been there since she was a baby. So I say go for it. I know my friend would say the same thing. Save yourself the drama.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 5:05 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

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