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14 Bumps

Help...its sad i feel this way. DO NOT BASH ME!!!!

i hate my husband.
we do the SAME thing day in and out.
our DD is only taken care of by me.
all he does is work and comes home plays wow.
thats ALL he does.
yes he does work puts a roof over our head.
thats all he does.
i provide care in my home for children and pay all the other bills.
ever since he came home from deployment.
we bicker about this and that.
i am sick of it.
he does the most annoying things I HATE having sex with him
he doesn't shower at all or brush his teeth. just plays wow
doesn't even spend time with our DD
i feel bad for even posting this i love him but god i hate him all in one.
do i leave...thats what i feel like is the best thing to do.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:44 PM on Mar. 4, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (33)
  • im sorry hun. how long ago did he come back from deployment?
    proudmom611

    Answer by proudmom611 at 10:47 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • Could be he's depressed or suffering some sort of post-traumatic stress thing.
    natersmom76

    Answer by natersmom76 at 10:48 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • if he's not showering or brushing his teeth, what do his co-workers think?
    But I understand what it's like to feel this way, I'm sorry. Can you get some counseling if he's in the military?
    See about getting some counseling for the two of you, and if he won't go, then go alone.
    hang in there
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 10:50 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • No need for bashing! You feel how you feel, and it looks like you have good reason to. I'm so sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. You seem really frustrated and a little trapped. I would suggest since you can't change him, start doing other things just for you and your kids. Go take a class you enjoy, or join a club or a group. Start having a life outside of what's going on. I really hope you have communicated and told him how you feel as well. If I were you I'd show him this post.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 10:50 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • Maybe some counseling would help. It seems that your problems with your husband can have resolution with some communication with each other.
    katcb1019

    Answer by katcb1019 at 10:50 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • IF YOU STAY AND FIGHT ALL THE TIME IT WILL NEVER WORK AND THE KIDS WILL BE MISERABLE.AND BEING WITH SOMEONE JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE KIDS DOES NOT WORK SO IF YOUR FEELINGS ARE THAT STRONG THEN JUST CUT YOUR LOSS AND WALK TO KEEP YOUR SANITY.GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR DECISION
    lena695

    Answer by lena695 at 10:51 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • It does suck doing everything by yourself, espeacially when you thought your husband was supposed to be your partner. it can definitely lead you to hate him. If things don't change you may have to consider leaving.

    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 10:51 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • I empathize greatly.

    I wouldn't just up and leave. There was a reason you fell in love in the first place and a lot has clearly happened since then. I think a good step to take would be to try counseling, either as a couple or individually.

    Communication is key in any relationship. Hang in there.
    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 10:53 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • I know this is not the same as deployment, but for the last 2 years, my LP was working for 6 month stretches at a time out of state. He would be gone 6 months, home for a month or two, gone another 6 months, etc. He is just now out of contract and home for good with a job that doesn't require travel. Even though we have been together 13 years, it took us a while to get back used to being around each other all the time again.

    That's really all I have to compare, but if you really feel like you are pulling him as dead weight as opposed to your partner in life, the saying "I can do bad by myself" comes to mind. I'm sure you have tried just asking him for his help before it got this bad, but maybe before you throw in the towel you could try everything all over again and let him know that the future of your relationship (if there is to be one) depends on his effort.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 10:55 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • I am so sorry you have to go through this. I would definatley talk with him about this and maybe even suggest couseling, or seeing a pyschiatrist. This could quite possibly have something to do with being oversees even though it doesnt make sense to us. He may be going through something becaouse of what he has seen or been forced to do over there. It has to be confronted though because you cant live like that forever, and if you love him and i believe you do because you said so than its worth trying everything. Goodluck i hope everything gets better for you.

    2breath2live

    Answer by 2breath2live at 10:55 PM on Mar. 4, 2011

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