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So we both feel awful...

First off, I absolutely love my husband, he loves me, and we have a rediculously strong friendship. This problem is that for most of our marriage, that's about all it has been. We got married too fast and have stayed together. We both want more than we can give each other but don't know how. Most of the time we feel like we're just not right for each other. We have done counseling, we've tried to find faith and have issues with that too. We don't want to cheat on each other and we struggle with our faith because our religion says that divorce is wrong unless adultrey is present. We have put ourselves in a position where we have to live together or we lose just about everything. Our schedules are very sensative and in the area we live in jobs are scarce so we have to keep the ones we have, no exceptions. We both grew up in "sweep it under the rug" type families which led to messy and painful divorces. We do not want to hurt each other but we aren't happy. So my question, do we suck it up and spend our lives wondering what if, or do we split and drag our family out of comfort so that we can start from scratch on our own on the chance that there is someone else out there to make both of us happy? Is there a happy medium that won't make us feel like bad people? What are your thoughts?


Asked by Anonymous at 3:31 AM on Mar. 5, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I wold be hesitant to break up a family and call it quits if you do get along and can be close in some way.

    I know, after 13 years together, we have had many times where it wasn't all sparks and sunshine. I think that over time, some of the passionately "in love" feeling has faded, but what we have is strong. We are parents together, we work for our futures together, we spend our time together, vacation together, look forward to retiring together, etc. The ability we have to depend on each other for everything is priceless.

    Before you make a decision to call it quits, please consider that everyone out there is going to have a habit or trait that drives you crazy, and you will probably question things (at least occasionally) with whoever you end up with if you do choose to leave.

    Obviously it is your relationship, and you live it every day, but these are just some things to think about.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 9:32 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • I'm sorry you're going through a tough time. You really have to talk things over with dh and decide with him what you guys want to do.

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 3:46 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • I am really sorry that you are going through this but this is something that you really need to talk to your DH about and decide what is right for the both of you. Do what will make you guys happy in the long run.

    Answer by mandyxoxo at 5:43 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • I feel that you need to make up your mind, have your ideas clear and have a talk with him....

    Answer by AnuMeha at 9:01 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • Well it's a bitter sweet situation but if your both really not happy why stay together....never do nothing because you feel you have to but it because you want to and are "IN LOVE" with each to is to short to live a life without true love and happiness. And if your both going in different directions then for sure you need to talk since counciling didn't work and have a trail seperation but remain friends and see if this is really what you both want.....

    Answer by dusty1962 at 4:48 PM on Mar. 5, 2011