Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

5 Bumps

When your kids ask about sex...

In my family we have always lived by the rule that, when children are old enough to ask then they are old enough to be told on their level. When I was shopping with my niece and I bought tampons, she asked what they were for so I told her that it was the keep me from making a mess. When I was pregnant, she asked me how that baby got in there, I told her that the daddy planted a seed in the mommy's belly and it came together with the mommy's egg and it made a baby inside the belly. When she asked why the food I ate didn't hurt the baby when it fell on it I explained that the baby wasn't in my stomach, that she lived in my uterus, which kept her warm and safe. When she asked where the baby came out I explained to her that there was a special opening that was made for the baby to come out. My sister and I were always told what we need to know when we asked. She said she'd rather us hear it from her then to learn it from kids at school. The only thing I remember lying about was when my niece was six and she found a condom on my dresser and, when she asked what it was, I told her it was a grown up balloon.

I recently had an argument with my friend because her five year old asked me how the baby got inside the mommy's belly (a tv show started the conversation) I told him that God took a seed from the daddy and an egg from the mommy and joined them together in the mommy's tummy and then the baby starts to grow. My friend had a fit because he had asked her the same question and she told him that she didn't know because she didn't want to tell him, which was why he asked me. I don't believe in lying to children because, if you're going to teach them to be honest then you have to be honest with them.

She thinks I'm crazy. What do you think?

Answer Question

Asked by Razzle_Dazzle1 at 5:25 AM on Mar. 5, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 18 (5,775 Credits)
Answers (22)
  • she is are not. My 5 year old son can tell you that women use tampons when they get their periods and that in order to make a baby the parents have to be married (my rule) and then they have sex. I have not told him what sex involves because he hasnt asked. His twin sister knows a little more, because she is more interested in why I have a period and daddy doesnt, so I explained about that and the tiny eggs already inside her, lol...she went to her dad and said, "I already have your grandbabies in my ovaries!" He turned green, tell them what they need to know, when they ask

    Answer by shivasgirl at 5:32 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • My cousin's son asked me why I have boobies and his daddy does not. I told him that they made milk inside them and that fed the babies. Then he said "But how do you keep it cold? The milk will spoil and it will make the baby sick." Then he asked "Why are yours so big?" Before I could respond, my cousin's husband responded with "The better to distract you with, my dear."

    Comment by Razzle_Dazzle1 (original poster) at 5:42 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • My son is only seven months and I really learned from your question. I will know how to talk to my child when he asks these questions rather than being uncomfortable. Just had to say thanks and let you know you are not crazy its good to get answers when they are young. Like my friend cusses in front of her child and so do many other people (I don't agree cussing in front of a child but you can't stop them from hearing the words) she sat her daughter down and explained that grown ups are allowed to say those words because those are big people words they are bad for children but once she becomes older she can use those words (she says the same thing about drinking) Its kind of sad that she has to tell her daughter these things but now she understands that certain words are not to be said and beer is for adults.

    Answer by LindAngeLevi at 5:43 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • I agree with the honesty method and answer my daughters questions in a similar way. That being said, I can see your friends point.  It wasn't your place to have any part of the birds and the bees talk with her son unless she invited you into it or asked for your help or advice.


    Answer by Lornamay at 5:44 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • I said the SAME exact thing to my DD about pregnancy. I said my eggs mixed with daddy's seeds & we made a baby that is growing in my UTERUS (not stomach). I think you did good! I never understood why people try to hide all these wonderful things that happen naturally in life, as if it's some sort of nasty thing that kids shouldn't know about.
    I tell my DD the exact truth when she asks about it & i do not lie. She was 5 when she came to me asking about sex, because she was playing with an older neighbor who asked her if she knew what it was (how it all usually starts). I am not going to sugar coat it or lie to my child about the wonders of getting pregnant. I will tell her the real facts & of course use easy simple words that she can understand.
    I have a friend who will not breastfeed her baby in front of her other kids, i know it's kind of off subject, but i feel like she is trying to hide a beautiful thing from her kids.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 6:27 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • I am with you, I think you need to tell them what they ask according to thier age and how you tell it, kids are not stupid and i really don't think they will buy the i dont know answer.

    Answer by jenn4443 at 6:31 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • I breastfed in front of my sister's kids. We explained that that's how the baby got milk. They understood because they were all breastfed.

    Comment by Razzle_Dazzle1 (original poster) at 6:32 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • She breastfed all of them, but only for like 6 months so they don't remember. It bums me out, i think it is so strange that she will not breastfeed in front of her other kids....just weird....

    Answer by samurai_chica at 6:42 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • There's nothing crazy about answering a child's questions with a level of detail appropriate to their age, which is what you've done.

    Answer by SWasson at 7:04 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • On the other hand, I went to highschool with a girl whose parents told her almost nothing. She hadn't started her period but she was developed and I knew she would be starting soon and her parents still insisted she was too young to talk to her about her periods. I think that's ridiculous. I spent most of that class explaining things to her. She saw that I had a parenting class on my school schedule.

    Comment by Razzle_Dazzle1 (original poster) at 7:11 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Parenting Debate
SAHM vs. unemployed

Next question overall (Teens (13-17))
Tighty whities