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My 4 YO son is very active like his father lately has been acting out at home and school.

Now everyday his Pre K teacher says he will not sit during circle time and will not do his writing activities without 1 on 1 attention. A few months ago my husband and I separated for 2 mths but now things have been going great at home with more family activities even mornings we have family snuggle and tickle time. I have a new great job with set schedule instead of retail working all type of hrs so we starteda routine at night with learning time, writing, learning games that has become punishment time since he does not want to do any of it I've tried positive reinforcement when he does good the past 2 weeks he has been talking back, ignoring us, slammed the door after being told no almost as if he doesn't understand consequences. In the past few days it is constant punishment his teacher suggested to a friend that we must not punish him & need to test for ADHD Please help with advice

Answer Question
Lisa F.

Asked by Lisa F. at 10:31 AM on Mar. 5, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Ease up on all the learning time, writing time, and let him be a kid. He needs time to run, play, enjoy life. As for preschool, they could be having the kids do inactive activities too much of the time. I taught preschool and we balanced seat work with an active activity. About 15 minutes inactive to about 30 minutes active. Kids need time to play, run off steam. The more you push him to do "work" the more he will resist. He can still learn letters, numbers, shapes, etc while playing. Play " I Spy" while in the car or at the store. Draw in the snow or mud. Draw with chalk on the driveway or sidewalk.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:36 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • Oh and he has had a lot of changes in his life...parents temp separation, moms new job. That could be part of the problem.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:37 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • First try speaking to him to find out if daddy leaving has caused this change. Try asking your husband to come speak to him. If that do not work put your foot down and punish him, while telling him what he has done wrong. If that do not get you any where then maybe you want to get him tested. I hate saying that because my son is 4 and they wanted me to have him tested I refused and tried different things and many has helped. I am quite hyper myself so I can not judge him for his hyperactivity. Try different things before you test him.

    Answer by dubewife at 10:50 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • I'd tell him that his behavior isn't very nice and it makes you sad to see him act like that. I'd work around the "no" word which upsets many small ones. Focus on what he can do and not so much what he can't do. ex. if he picked up a glass vase to play with I wouldn't tell him "no" I'd replace it with something he could play with. As for the slamming door, there are things you can put on a door to keep it from slamming.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:24 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • For one thing, i feel like if the teacher felt like you needed to get your child tested, that should have been something that she should have talk to you and his father about cofidently, not to someone else unless she was the shcools councler. Secondly who is she to say what you do and do not do, shes not in your home to know your ways of dicipline. I dont know wha to tell you about what to do about his behavior. but i will say this, if your child did not do anything and just sat there very quietly without trying you at all, and answered you ( yes mommy) what would you do. Because i would be scared of the little bugger me... LOL

    Answer by BUTTERFLY463 at 11:14 PM on Mar. 5, 2011

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