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Very long vent about finances, DH &MIL. AT MY WIT'S END! adult content

my husband earns an income of $1700/month and we are a family of 5. needless to say we're struggling hard and we dont even qualify for PA because according to them we "make too much" .. i guess the standards are really high in my area. or really low? either way, we scrape the bottom of our pockets each month to make ends meet. and before anyone wants to judge, we made our big family when he was still in the army. unfortunate events happened that was beyond our control and he was honorably discharged.

anyway, he gets paid every friday and yesterday, his entire paycheck was spent before the day was even over. we had to pay his truck payment, his auto insurance was automatically deducted & i spent $120 on groceries. i really dont think thats a lot for a family of 5 and i make it last a week. we still have 2 in diapers as well. hes been wanting me to spend $75-$100 per week and i tried but it wouldn't last us til next payday.

so unbeknownst to me, he went & paid his mom a visit & told her about all this & she lent us $300. we are supposed to write down everything we spend and give it back to her, and then she's going to come over & give us a budget. um, seriously? it infuriates me because now it's her business what we spend our money on. i told him there is literally NO room for change in our current budget, it ALL goes to bills. and he said "well let's just let her do it then so we can prove we only spend it on bills" why the fuck do i need to prove anything to her? i said thank you for the money, don't get me wrong. but everything was taken care of so we don't need anything til next payday. and now i have to document what we spend so his mom can make some kind of judgment about it? he implied that she thinks i spend it frivolously, which pisses me off. splurging for us is paying $10 a month for netflix. anywhere i take the kids for fun is free, like the park or beach, which we walk to so we don't use a lot of gas (they are very closeby). i will not budge on how much i spend on groceries. feeding my kids is my top priority! so if she thinks she's going to come in here & tell me how much to spend on groceries, i will flip shit. my younger kids both wear hand me downs and i look for clearance & sales when my oldest needs clothes. i buy generic brands at the store & use coupons, what the hell else can i do?

he wants me to "humor him" and let her do a budget for us. which i will, i guess i dont have any other choice right? i really don't want her hawk eyes all up in our finances, more than she already is. i feel like i have no control now. im the one who handles everything, and im doing just fine. it sucks that we're flat broke but if i go to work ill make less income than it would cost to send 3 kids to daycare.


Asked by tnm786 at 10:34 AM on Mar. 5, 2011 in Relationships

Level 43 (159,608 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • ... I dont think its his moms buisness.... i think paying off the truck would REALLY help out! And it sounds liek your doing a hell of a good job budgeting!!!!! im making apx. 1200 a mnth and its just me and my son and i am flat broke at the end of the month if anything i APLAUD you for being able to budget that good!!!!

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 10:59 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • Yeah I would have a problem with that. Is she a financial advisor? Unless she is I wouldn't even entertain the idea of her helping. Good luck.

    Answer by tiddliwinks at 10:41 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • paying off his truck makes so much sense to me! Saving that 300 a mo u could that money aside for emergancies. hugs I hope u can get thru to him

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:58 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • This would not fly with me.

    Answer by tiddliwinks at 10:36 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • I would be asking him why when your doing the job just right?

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 10:43 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • I would giver her back the $300 and let her know she was unwelcome in my financial life.

    Answer by scout_mom at 10:53 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • Sorry but I agree with him. Show the woman your budget and prove to her you know what you are doing. If she thinks she can do better then let her try. This is where I'd sit there with a smirk on my face knowing she's going to look stupid after she sees you are doing a great job with what you have to work with. I'd show her and I'd be proud to show her.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:57 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • Oh my gosh, I'd flip out.
    As for diapers/wipes for two kids....we have 3 kids in diapers and every month it costs us $70 per MONTH. I used members mark, the sam's club brand diapers (size 3 and 4's) OR Parents Choice from walmart and walmart wipes. Just a thought, it can be even less for diapers.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:02 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • I think you should let her try.. yes, it's humbling but if she can help figure out a way to even squeeze out 10 bucks it would be worth it!! At any rate, you get to sit there and say told you so..... I don't think it is a terrible idea to save the money for emergencies and pay off the truck because it sounds like you'll have that paid off soon.. so its a way to not spend more money in the mean time (I have tried it and you spend more and it takes longer to save up that chunk of money). At any rate.. good job on the grocery shopping!!

    Answer by Camilletnt at 11:21 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • have you thought about doing like medical transcription? A friend of mine did that to make ends meet for a while.. a little cost up front but it pays in the end.. OR something else to help things out? If you're hubby works days why not work a few shifts in the evening.. NO day care costs.. ?

    Answer by Camilletnt at 11:24 AM on Mar. 5, 2011