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What encouragement would you give a teen (senior) to just hold on and graduate?

My poor son is being pulled in all kinds of directions. I see that he is under a huge amount of pressure from friends, girlfriends, family. What kinds of encouragement would you give to keep him focused on graduation and balanced with friends. I still want him to have fun and be a kid, but I also want to keep his eyes on the goal? Please share any experiences you had. ( I had to step in and cut some strings and he is a little angry about but at the same time it is helping and I feel it is for his own good...We have given lots of chances)

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:42 AM on Mar. 5, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (17)
  • Not sure. My son is only in 9th grade and I am trying to get him to understand that he needs to man up and get good grades, get involved in extracurricular activities because colleges look at everything from 9th grade on. My niece is 13 and has a good head on her shoulders and is making decisions based on the fact that she wants to get into a good college and get scholarships to pay for school. She is in many activities, has fun with friends, gets amazing grades. I think it just depends on finding the right balance for that child. Everyone is different and can handle different things. If he is stressed then he needs to step away from friends and even family that are stressing him out.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:47 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • I was JUST talking about this with someone wanting to drop out of college..... try simply asking him "where do you want to be in 5 years time? in 10 years? How do you plan on getting there?" Even if he gives you some silly answer like "living in a trailer park with beer bottles for room dividers" just know that it probably got him thinking...just too stubborn to give you a decent answer....the worst thing you can do though is tell him that's where he's headed.....
    Best of luck....I truly hope it works.....
    FXmomTo3

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 10:48 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • What my parents told me- "In the end it doesn't matter what grades yo get. All the world cares about is that little piece of paper. As long as you can tell us you tried then we will be proud of you. ust go get that piece of paper- then you can do whatever o like."

    I barely graduated high school, but I went on to work full time for 2 years before going to college. Then graduated from UIC with honors.
    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 10:49 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • My grandson quit just a few months before graduation! I couldn't believe anyone would be that close and just quit. I guess I'd ask him what he sees himself doing this time next year or the old "what do you want to be when you grow up?" You could always revert to bribery! I told my youngest I'd buy her a car if she made it to graduation without getting pregnant, getting on drugs or alcohol! lol It worked.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:50 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • oh and I should add if asking that question, probably not a good idea to ask it in a demeaning way or at the end of lecture on the subject....it should be out of the blue..."just curious" kind of question....
    FXmomTo3

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 10:50 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • I was right there where you are 3 years ago. I ended up driving him to and from school, to make sure he got there (even though I work full time!)...I'd go in early after dropping him off and took my lunch hour to pick him up. I tried to bribe him with stuff, I let him start taking online college level classes early....My son did graduate with his class and I was so glad he did. He still doens't really "get" why I thought it was so important to graduate with his class....on grad night I gave him blow up beach balls/silly string he had no idea what a hit he would be with that stuff....I graduated from the same school....I knew what was going to happen with that crap....sure enough, same exact teachers had trouble with the beach balls...I laughed my head off....Good luck to you both!
    kjrn79

    Answer by kjrn79 at 10:51 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • It is transition time, and its time for him to man up. Does he plan on going to college? Now is the time for him to register b/c the deadlines are about to happen. Sit down with him and his counselor and discuss his options. Maybe having brochures from different colleges in front of him will help. At least try to get him into community college, its a start. My dd is a senior too and I cant afford a University so she is already registered at the community college. I think once you make it real by sitting him down with the counselor and going over options about his future, he will start taking it more seriously. Senior yr is tough, its the last big wahoo for these guys, but it is almost time to be an adult with responsibilities. Good luck
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 10:52 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • My best advice, explain to him that he may not understand why just yet, but that this is going to be one of the most important parts of his life, it will be one that he will look back on 10 or 20 years and be proud of himself for sticking through it. IMHO don't pressure him more about college just yet, they get that enough through the teachers and guidance counselors at school, and it starts to become one of those things that they start thinking...whatever, i just won't go... His friends, girlfriends and family will be there after he graduates, if not then they weren't worth all that much to begin with and were just titles. He has to be able to have fun and relax but he has to be able to learn to balance that...Sorry, he's still just a kid....get through one crisis at a time. Good Luck.
    kitchenwitch78

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 11:01 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • From experience with my first son... cutting strings is a good thing, if you know it is the right thing to do... but remember they will always do what they want to do after they get out on their own... so you have to let them make their own mistakes after you advise them the right thing to do! Now going through my second son...almost 10 years apart...a bit easier this time round...the support from his dad is wonderful, but still very different day in time we are living...so handling the situation differently, encouraging him to go to a Certified Welding School in the fall after working through the summer to help pay for the tuition...instead of going straight into full time job postition...and we praying above all things, for God to guide his life according to His will in his life! I give my son to God on a daily basis!
    Wish you the best on your journey with your son...remember we are the parents, not their friends!
    mrscountrywoman

    Answer by mrscountrywoman at 11:09 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • I remember my senior year... 2nd semester is the hardest.. I just couldnt stand being in that school anymore.. But it WAS CRAZY one teacher made a point every few weeks to tell us "Well, X amount of kids have dropped out school so far this semester!" Its really sad.. Im pretty sure 100 kids or more dropped out last semester! And I remember the feeling when I would realize 1 student in our class went MIA ...
    sorry no real advice. just know alot of parent are going thru this exact thing right now this time of year. Maybe call & talk to a councilor to see if she has any advice..
    MommaTasha1003

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 12:18 PM on Mar. 5, 2011

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