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2 Bumps

Ho to break him of these horrible habbits?

Well i have 2 problems with my 10 year old son.

1st problem is he lies constantally. He lies about doing homework, saying things, he even makes up stories about being beat up in school and it didnt actually happen. He just started this horrible habbit

2nd problem is he is terrified of going to the bathroom by hisself. He makes his 8 year old sister sit outside the door. He has never seen a scary movie and he has no problem sleeping in his room in the dark. I just dont know what to do. I dont believe in spanking so any other suggestions please?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:56 AM on Mar. 5, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (12)
  • why would you spank him for the bathroom thing?

    here's what i think, although i could be wrong. i'm not sure about the lying about the homework, but the beatings and being scared of going to the bathroom himself could mean that he may not be getting BEATEN, but maybe he is getting bullied/threatened in the bathroom at school, therefore making him scared of going to the bathroom himself, and it carried on to the home.

    just something to think about.
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 10:58 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • Counseling.....take him to a pediatric psychiatrist.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 10:59 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • It doesn't sound like a spanking would be what he needs anyway. It sounds like to me seeing a therapist of some kid would be the best thing for him. Maybe start with the school counselor and then see what they say, and then they can let you know where to go from there. GL
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:59 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • Weird...is someone hurting him at school? What is he about 3rd or 4th grade? All those social problems start about 3rd grade. I would listen to his stories because just having someone to talk to may open up what is really happening. Teach him the rules about his privates and what is o.k. and what is not and how to defend himself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • He says someone is going to get him if he goes to the bathroom. He is only scared of the bathroom at home. I dont understand why he is lying so much
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:01 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • Hmm, for that big of a change maybe something is going on outside of school.... sometimes when kids start lying or become afraid of something that did not bother them before it can be due to stress that has been caused by a physical or emotional change in their enviroment.
    elffyefli

    Answer by elffyefli at 11:05 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • well will he out grow that??
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:08 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • Sounds like he has some deep rooted fears. I'd just go along with it if it makes him feel more secure. Just out of curiosity why would you even mention spanking? How could anyone even think that spanking would help ?(if you thought they were going to suggest it) Fear is fear. People can't spank fear out of them. They can only create more fear by doing it. As for the lying, maybe he'll grow up to be the new Stephen King. Just ask him questions and let him tell his story. He may just have an active imagination. I wouldn't stifle it but I would ask him if he knows the difference between a true lie and an embellishment. I'd also tell him the importance of you knowing when he's being truthful and remind him of the story about the Boy Who Cried Wolf
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:48 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • "...he even makes up stories about being beat up in school and it didnt actually happen"

    Are you sure? You're not with him the whole day at school to know exactly what is going on all day. Maybe HIS idea of being "beaten up" isn't just a physical beating? You should explore a little more as to what he says happened and with who- if there is a specific name coming up again and again, let the school know so they can keep a closer eye on the two of them interacting. Sometimes the threat of violence is just as real as someone actually hitting you.

    As for the bathroom thing, again explore this with him. Find out where he got the idea that someone would "get him" there- it might have been an offhand comment from a friend or something he saw on tv. Ask him what the "get him" means- would someone hurt him, steal him, touch him inappropriately?

    alionline

    Answer by alionline at 1:58 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Yeah he admitted that he lied and made up the story. And my husband spanks him when he lies. For example he'll hit his sister right in front of us and then tries to lie and say he didnt do it. I dont agree with the spanking but my husband doesnt know what else to do about it. He is lying about everything and i jjust dont understnad why
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:20 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

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