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What would you do? Flat broke, bro's wedding.

We are broke. We are both unemployed, but ACTIVELY seeking work. We get checks every now and then from returns on student loans and grants for schooling. We're waiting on the Map Grant to come in and it would be about $2300. We have 4 kids. We are getting help from church, my in laws, my parents and the rest we're using our student loans to pay bills when we can etc.

My parents are pressuring us to go to my brothers wedding in a totally different state. It would take 3 days driving EACH WAY (gas, hotel, food along the way, back and forth) OR my parents were going to buy us all plane tickets (5 hour flight each way). They asked us to put in $1000(they are putting up for a hotel for the time we're there as well) cause they knew we were going to get this student loan money in, and my husband wanted to use it to help pay our way to my brothers wedding. My husband wants to go, my parents want us to go and fork out the money.
I FEEL this is totally irresponsible. Don't get me wrong, I want to be there, I'm sad if I won't be able to make it, but I can't justify spending that money that we need for bills, diapers, gas and living necessities. I know my brother will be sad, but it's like everyone is ignoring the situation that me and my husband are in? WE ARE POOR. Less than dirt poor because he got laid off. I just don't know what people to expect out of us.
I fee like I'm dissapointing people if I don't go.....but I believe you should never over extend yourself for others because you ultimately can't help anyone else unless your ok with your situation.
So, what would you do? Or what should I tell everyone else so they'll stop pressuring me to give into this trip? I don't understand why everyone else doesn't understand why I don't want to spend this money to go to a wedding. Does this make me cold for not spending the money for my own BROTHER'S wedding?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:13 AM on Mar. 5, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Sadly, unless someone is willing to get you there entirely on their dime, I'd pass. That $1000 needs to go to better use (although seeing family is a great thing). Hopefully something can be set up via webcam so you can still be a part of it all. I really hope things improve for you soon so you aren't dependent on returns, etc.
    Nonoluna

    Answer by Nonoluna at 11:16 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • I wouldn't go either,and I know if you had the money you would go. I wouldn't worry do they know your having a hard time financially? And it doesn't make you cold or anything else. I understand your situation,were flat broke and having a screaming time paying our mortgage and trying to keep food on the table and gas in the car so we can work. Passing lots of well wishes your way hon cause you need it. Keep your chin up and keep smiling.
    MarGeee

    Answer by MarGeee at 11:19 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • i wouldn't go. he's family, he should understand your situation. call him yourself and apologize you can't make it.

    your family is trying to get you to spend money you don't even have yet. my husband is like that. he knows we'll get paid, how much, ect, and he starts writing things down he wants to use the money for. i'm different. i don't lol. A) we don't have it yet. B) we're not sure exactly when we will get it C) even if we do know the exact day we're getting it, who's to say something won't happen and we don't get it on time? D) with 2 kids, you never know what could happen, one could fall and need medical attention and then you have to pay a co-pay of an arm and a leg. if you spent the money already, you don't have it to pay the co-pay

    i don't spend money until i know for sure we have it in our hands, and even then bills are priority.

    so to answer, no, i wouldn't go. watch the video. GL
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 11:19 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • wow, that's a really difficult question. I don't know what I'd do in this situation. There doesn't even seem to be much a compromise....you can't go part way....maybe you can plan to send a nice gift with a heart felt letter and explain that you will be there to see them as soon as you can. HUGS to you all.
    kjrn79

    Answer by kjrn79 at 11:31 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • I don't think I would go. You have to take care of your family first. How would your family feel if you ended up homeless because you didn't have the money because you spent it on going to his wedding. I would sit down and talk to your brother about the situation since he is the one getting married. You might upset your mom, but oh well, it's not her wedding. That's a really tough situation.
    SherriPie

    Answer by SherriPie at 11:34 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • hugs I agree with the other posters, I don't think it's wise to go. But do look around- if there's stuff you can sell or extra jobs you can work to help you raise money to get there, I think that wouldn't be a bad idea. Good luck!

    Erica_Smerica

    Answer by Erica_Smerica at 2:54 PM on Mar. 5, 2011

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