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Why do I always have to be the bad guy?

We're completely strapped for money, so why is it when I tell my husband I don't want to spend the little money we do have on trivial things or hobbies or entertainment(movies, games etc) that I am the bad guy? I kind of feel guilty because it's his money too, but it's my money too...so who's right? I'm financially responsible and he's the opposite. I can't help but feel though, I'm controlling what he wants to do with his money, but like I said, I want it my way as well. When I do what I want with the money, it's to the benifit of my children and things we need. When my husband has money or does what he wants with it, it's either for himself or dumb stuff like fast food (uh, we already have food in the house?).
So where's the compromise? Where's the line? I'm tired of this game back and forth, but I'm also tired of me being the only one that is the "responsible" one with our money.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:29 AM on Mar. 5, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Designate a portion for spending. Balance is important so setting some aside for hobbies & entertainment is just as important as setting some aside for bills.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:32 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • Sit down with your husband and work out the budget with him. He may not be aware of how much certain things cost. Work some fun money into the budget as well. You both deserve a treat now and then. To be honest, you are controlling how he spends and that does make you the bad guy. When you start working together on this, things will change.
    Nonoluna

    Answer by Nonoluna at 11:32 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • The problem is, is we are getting help from those around us to pay bills, etc. We are unemployed, and vigorusly seeking jobs....daily.

    We don't have money to spend. We have nothing extra. Everything that comes in *SHOULD* be going to pay our own bills so someone else isn't paying our way.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:34 AM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • I agree with the budget idea. Sit him down and work it with him. See if there are things you can cut out so that you're not so strapped for the moment.
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 1:39 PM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • my bf is like this to. sometimes when we have a little extra i give to him. we talk about it after on how he spent it and if it was really necessary and how he could of spent it in a smarter way. explain ur thought process to him. then train him to think before or at least have your voice in his head any time he goes for the cash
    minki111

    Answer by minki111 at 2:21 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • my bf is like this to. sometimes when we have a little extra i give to him. we talk about it after on how he spent it and if it was really necessary and how he could of spent it in a smarter way. explain ur thought process to him. then train him to think before or at least have your voice in his head any time he goes for the cash
    minki111

    Answer by minki111 at 2:21 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

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