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Was shocked( Venting ) and not sure what to do adult content

my husband has a daughter that is 12 years old. and her mom took off out of state when she was 6 years old. He has never been allowed to see her since then. the judge we had apparently was also crooked , he took his own life after they found out he was stealing some child support funds. anyway, the only time we hear from her is if her dad loses a job and has no money coming in for child support. Her mom knows he will go to work when he finds a job and pay the back and current. the only other times we usually hear from her is Christmas time, and Birthday time. today the phone rang and it was actually the daughter asking for her grandpa. he was not here. her dad is telling me if she cannot call him more, and he be allowed to go down and see her then he does not know if he would want to. he thinks she may be trying to either come between us or there is something going on between her and her mom and he does not want to get in the middle of them two if they are fighting. then she called back asked for her dad it made me feel quite upset that he made me tell her he was at work. i am in the middle and looking like the bad person. the history is she lied to him about birth control,got pregnant, then said i do not want CS but she did. they were engaged but she refused to marry him. then basically kept his daughter away from him. :( She lied on me in court and lied in court about not being married to a abuser. we were fighting back then to get the child out of the abusive situation, and to keep her from moving away. we were even moving closer so he could see her more often. The girl no longer calls unless she was wanting something. typically it is her mom that calls. her state wants us to pay them for insurance on her. Our kids are on state insurance here and we pay nothing for it because of how much child support she gets. my kids have medical issues from their dad side of family and i wonder if she to has it. I want my kids to know their sister. they have not seen her since the youngest was in diapers. :( i feel like my hands are tied. do i got behind hubby back and make him angry. do i reach out to her. I just do not know what to do. I cannot stand her mom but that is not her fault. Her dad was going to break it off with her mom and come to me before he found out she was pregnant. because they were not getting along at all. then she told him she was pregnant the day he came to tell me he wanted to be with me and have kids. so i left i told him i would not come between them and a child. but a year later she was running around on him and so i came back into his life. she had told him she was never going to marry him after all. I know i probably make no sense right now but it is because i do not know what to do. he was also told if he tried to have contact with her that he would be falsely accused of sexual assault by the step grandma.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:37 PM on Mar. 5, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • He has a right to visitation.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:42 PM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • we know he has a right to it but with her being in anther state they make sure to use that against him :( and state that they will try to get him for kidnapping toeven though he would not be :(
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:45 PM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • Paying child support is NOT a guarantee on visitation and not paying child support does not take visitation away.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:38 PM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • Living out of state does not disqualify a parent from visitation rights it just means you have to go to court and have an agreement worked out for when , how long, and who covers the costs. It is not parental kidnapping to take a child out of state to your home for your court ordered visitation.

    If you have a problem and she is not cooperating to resolve it then you need to take it to the courts they are the only ones who can give a binding resolution.

    and technically by "you" I mean your DH
    kayslay

    Answer by kayslay at 3:14 PM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • he had court ordered visitation by the original judge. we were to be allowed to pick her up and she was to come get her. her exxcuse i cannot drive it. but the rest is her stepmom because they want custody of the girl. Hubby says that he would never sign her over to them but i still do not get why he won't talk to her. she is his daughter. it makes me wonder if he would ever do that to our kids:( he was told he could have vistation by the Judge because he never did anything to the little girl. but when he brought it up the lawyer for us said he did not care :( the lawyer was fired. I cannot wait until it all ends.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:11 PM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • Well basically that is his child so its his choice to be a part of her life or not. I would leave it alone.
    Also, you may want your children to know his daughter because they are subjected to hurt by the daughters mom. She doesnt sound very stable and i would suggest to stay away as much as possible. Maybe bring it up in the agreement that she only contact you for visitation and not friendly conversation. Strictly business.
    If you feel guilty for lying, tell your husband so youre not in that situation again. Get caller ID and screen. GL!
    sassy_brizzy

    Answer by sassy_brizzy at 2:49 PM on Mar. 5, 2011

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