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I'm getting snappy at Autistic son, please help.

Lately, I have getting very snappy. My son constantly whines, part of it isn't his fault. He has Autism and things for him must be hard. I find myself getting all worked up the second he starts his whining. I sometimes yell and swear at him. Then I feel bad afterwards because he's not trying to piss me off. I need help people. I haven't ever been so stressed I wanted to hit him. I'm afraid that if I can't cope with my stress, I might do something like that I regret. There is no support groups for me where I live.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:31 PM on Mar. 5, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (5)
  • There are plenty of support groups here on Cafemom.  LOTS of moms here have children with autism.  Yes, you do need some support.  Now here is some hard truth, yelling and cursing at your son is absolutely NOT acceptable.  You feel badly for it afterwards because it's wrong.  If you think to yourself "this is completely NOT acceptable" it will sink in.  Regardless of how frustrated you are, you are responsible for your own actions.  This is not a bash, this is from a mama who use to break dishes outside to let out frustration because I didn't know what the hell to do. 

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 2:38 PM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • It is trying..Dont be so hard on yourself. I'm in the same boat you are in. My son is disabled and trying to re-iterate day-in and day-out what they need to know is stressful. (since you say it a thousand times, and I always question does he really not get it?? or is he just choosing to ignore me?) When you get they feeling its to much walk away, take a few minutes and readjust. Make sure you to take time for yourself, go to the salon, go for a walk, its important for your sanity) As for your son, after you hell or act out, hug him!! Re assure him that he is loved. You are in this together rember;)) God Bless you and your family!
    Palatino3

    Answer by Palatino3 at 2:43 PM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • Take a step back, take a deep breath, and if necessary - leave the room when he whines to gather yourself.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 2:43 PM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • I agree there are support groups right here, and you're definitely not alone. But that beings said you're an adult and we have to be held accountable for our actions. Yelling and swearing at any child, disability or not, isn't going to solve anything. If your son isn't in immediate danger, and you find yourself wanting to curse at him, then walk away. Just go to the bathroom, lock the door and breathe. Or your bedroom, but if you use the bathroom you can say "mommy is going potty" and then he doesn't have to know how frustrated you are. Take a minute, breathe, count, splash water on your face, punch a towel, do what you need to do to get the frustration out. Then go back and calmly deal with the situation at hand. We all get frustrated sometimes, i've had to yell enough! and then retreat to a separate room. Kids need time outs once in awhile and so do we, don't be afraid to do so.
    ba13ygrl1987

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 2:44 PM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • i agree with twinsplus2more
    augboy11

    Answer by augboy11 at 8:17 PM on Mar. 5, 2011

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