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Why do people not believe that some mother's just DO NOT want to be SAHMs and never had any intention too?

my mother worked. i had kids and never considered staying home. it is not a character flaw to want to work.


Asked by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Mar. 5, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I'm a very independant woman and I was raised to never depend on a man. While I know that I can depend on my hubby, I still want to work. Working motivates me and fullfills me as person. I've stayed at home and it wasn't for me...

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 3:27 PM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • Ive got a degee, have worked in the social service field and there is no where I would rather be than at home with my kids.. I have friends and family members who just have no desire to stay at home with their kids. I dont judge their choice its theirs to make. I dont consider it a flaw.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 3:29 PM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • I've never known any mothers that did WANT to stay home full time. I've known some that did because they had to (like myself) but none that planned to or that preferred it to working.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 3:31 PM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • I think our culture glorifies the SAHM thing. Same with marriage and having a big house in the suburbs. And I think it's a little more common for women to actually want to be SAHMs than to have to work, if for no other reason than that it's easier for many people to be able to just focus on one job (mom) rather than to juggle 2 jobs (mom and work).

    But I totally understand that not everyone wants the same things. One of my best friends LOVES being a mother of 2 who also has an interesting and challenging career. She feels so much more happy and complete this way.

    Happy mom makes a happy family. So, if working makes you happy, go to it!

    Answer by Sebbiemama at 3:33 PM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • Why is it that working mothers think SAHM's depend on their husbands and "sit their life away" as momofone puts it. I volunteer at school at church and school. I also have a work at home business and babysit twins, so I have my own money and don't depend on my dh. I am also here for my kids when they get home from school on their days off and summer breakor when they are sick. i wouldn' t change it if I could.

    Answer by arenad at 3:40 PM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • i just don't know!!! i personally cannot sit my life away at home. i work at subway, it's not a great job but for the first few months after my daughter was born i nearly when crazy with boredom being home all the time. i need to work, i need to be independent, i need to make MY OWN money. i don't want to depend on anyone for anything. i want to do things for myself. i have a wonder husband, he's a wonderful provider, but i wanna provide too damn it.

    Answer by momofone725 at 3:24 PM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • Maybe because whoever thinks that thinks that way because it's not what they chose and they can't understand it.  I think sometimes people have a hard time accepting other peoples decisions if they don't mimic their own.  I am a stay at home mom, I am happy with that.  I certainly do not think it's a character flaw to want to work.  To each their own.


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 3:28 PM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • I am a stay at home mother actively looking for work but while I am at home I provide child care for other families and do hair to bring in money, I am paid weekly the money is GREAT and I enjoy spending time with my children being the one to cook, help with homework, attend PTA meetings, sports the whole nine yards I would say I have the best of both worlds and I don't know how I will be ably to cope when I begin to work full time. I say it's whatever suits you best if you want to work than work if you want to stay home stay home my model is if your not working have a hustle meaning have some way to bring money in a woman needs to know she can make her own way if there is not a man in the picture 


    Answer by ExtremlyUnique at 3:32 PM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • well in that sense sebbie dads have 2 jobs, work and father. working definitely makes me happy and i don't feel like i'm juggling anything.

    Answer by momofone725 at 3:40 PM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • arenad if you do all that then you aren't a sahm. if you work, even if it's an at home business, that makes you a working mom. sahm means you don't work at all so yes you do depend on your husband and as a sahm "i" was sitting my life away. i was referring to me and no one else

    Answer by momofone725 at 3:44 PM on Mar. 5, 2011