My dad was previously married 4 times and met my mom when she was a single mom of 5 kids. She had two previous marriages that ended because of abuse. My dad was abusive in his earlier marriages, but that was a deal breaker for my mom. As far as I know he never hit her until a few months ago.
Now he is in the final stages of his cancer and is really sick. He is still mobile, but is getting weaker quickly. Apparently when he gets mad now, he thinks it is okay to hit and shove my mom. She doesn't know what to do, she says he can't control himself. I have a hard time believing that, I mean in the 30 years they have been married he was able to control it, but now he can't. Yeah right. I know he is having regrets and is scared of dying, but my mom shouldn't be his punching bag.
I told her to kick his ass out. Not to really kick him out but to scare him into stop hitting her. She said that he stuck by her and raised her kids and she can't leave him in his time of need.
I love my dad. He was a good dad, he ruled with an iron fist, but didn't abuse us. But I am so saddened and disgusted by this new violence. He refuses counseling, as does my mom.
He probably won't live to see Christmas this year.
I am just so heartbroken about everything that is going on. How can I help them?
Asked by Anonymous at 6:46 PM on Mar. 5, 2011 in Relationships
Answer by kjrn79 at 6:48 PM on Mar. 5, 2011
Answer by older at 6:49 PM on Mar. 5, 2011
Answer by Anna92464 at 6:51 PM on Mar. 5, 2011
Answer by Claudiomom at 6:51 PM on Mar. 5, 2011
She needs to talk to his doctors, maybe some of his meds are causing increased aggression, or he needs to be put on antidepressive meds. A social worker at the hospital may have some advice for your mom as well. Your mom doesn't have to put up with it, she should leave the house when he is getting angry, she doesn't need to be around him all the time.
Answer by RyansMom001 at 6:53 PM on Mar. 5, 2011
Answer by samurai_chica at 6:54 PM on Mar. 5, 2011
Answer by gemgem at 6:55 PM on Mar. 5, 2011
Answer by TillyMarie at 7:17 PM on Mar. 5, 2011
Answer by ILoveCade at 7:20 PM on Mar. 5, 2011