Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

TIPS Please on my son? I am going in saine

My son is 3, and yes i know he is three and he is going through horrible 3s and i may expect more from him, but i don't want him to be knowen as the bratty kid or the kid who gets in trouble at schools or worse when he is older and getting arrested.
the last week and since he was able to move he has always been a tester. The peds don't think he will never grow out of it and will always be a tester. But here is some of the things i have gone through and going through with him and the techniques i have tried and nothing seems to work.
1) He used to people's house and try testing them like they would tell him no and he would still do it and look at u and do it and then run away
2) He used to kick, bite, hit, and throw temper tantrums, but we stopped some of it, and now he is three and is back to doing it
3) he always says thank u when he gets something, today at his party he didn't and even people came up to me and said wow he is sassy and disrespectful
4) He loves his baby brother so much, but today he was caught pushing up on the bouncer chair and his brothers head was going all over
5) he runs away from me in stores, in parking lots
I have tried time outs in 3 different ways. one way it used to be he would go sit in the corner of the living room but we stopped that because he would still get up and watch TV. Then i tried it in the kitchen but he still would get up. Now we put him on the naughty step and put a gate above him so he can't get up in his room, and we shut the door to the main floor so he can't see anyone. I have tried talking to him and telling him what i expect, it was working but all of a sudden it stopped.
Yes i know he had a major change and that was his brother. But i prepared him for it, we read books, we constantly told him there was a baby in my tummy and he would come out soon, we showed him his baby pics and told him that there will be one in the house, we let him help with his brother. My son gets more attention from me than his baby brother. The only good time i get with my baby is when my son is in bed yet or in nap. Otherwise i don't get any time with the baby.
what am i doing wrong, or do i just not know how to parent. I tried super nanny tricks and those don't work, I so want supernanny come in my house.
Any tips on how to punish him, or even disapline him, i am so scared he will get into lots of trouble when he is older if i can't stop the attitude and behavior he has now.

Answer Question
 
2boysyahoo.com

Asked by 2boysyahoo.com at 10:33 PM on Mar. 5, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 16 (2,515 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Momma, you need to make the boundaries VERY clear to him. And stick to them 100% of the time. My daughter is the same way.

    1) Make predictable consequences for when he misbehaves at other people's houses. And, DON'T be afraid to discipline him in public when immediacy is called for.
    2) Whenever he hits/kicks/bites/punches/etc. remove him from the area immediately and tell him that such behavior is NOT acceptable.
    3) Remind him of his manners. He knows them but is trying to find exactly what you're going to let him get away with.
    4) For now, I would NOT let him be alone in the same room as his brother; not until he can learn how to be gentle.
    5) When he runs away from you stick him in a shopping cart or keep hold of his hand. What I always told my kids: If you're not going to stay with me, you don't get your freedom.

    Good Luck!!!
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 11:15 PM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • He needs to be put in time out with you present. It is only three minutes. You can stay on top of this and enforce him staying there by keep putting him back.
    What you are saying does not sound so horrible or unusual. It is just overwelming to you.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 11:15 PM on Mar. 5, 2011

  • Sounds like pretty normal stuff to me...take a breath. This will pass, adn you will move on to other different challenges.
    I agree with pretty much what the first 2 said :)

    this will pass, hang in there
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 1:01 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • The time outs should work but you need to be consistent. Place him in a spot and everytime he gets up, place him back in. All the while no talking and staying calm. Eventually he will tire out and see that you are in control. It is not so much the time spent in time out, as to the fact that you are in control. Get down to his level and tell him why he is in time-out, then end with a hug before he gets out of time out. Another thought is a behavior chart allowing him to place stickers for when he does well. So many stickers gets a reward. Like a trip to the playground,etc. Praise for good behavior. Hopefully with time he will want the positive attention from you instead of the negative. If you still feel nothing is working talk to his doctor again about all that is going on and maybe have him evaluated just to make sure you are doing all you can to help him. Hang in there...
    Kellyjude1

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 7:53 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • sounds like what you have is a classic strong-willed child. Be tough, be strict, be consistent. Find some books on strong-willed kids and just make sure he realizes early on that YOU will win EVERY. SINGLE. BATTLE. Good luck
    purplerobin

    Answer by purplerobin at 4:11 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Call nanny 911
    Patientchild3

    Answer by Patientchild3 at 6:28 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.