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Have you ever adopted from a friend?

A friend of mine knows we are trying to adopt and just found out she is pregnant. She is 40ish and doesn't want to start all over again and told us she could let us adopt her baby. I was just wondering if anyone has experience with this and if the friendship lasted after it was all said an done. Did it bring you together more? Push you away from each other? I want to stay friends because I have very few as it is, and she is an awesome friend.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:51 AM on Mar. 6, 2011 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I think the biggest issue would be if she still continues to be friends with you, her having to see that child grow up and know that she had given it up. Will she be able to deal with that? Will you be able to deal with losing her as a friend if she can't?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:49 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • I did not adopt from a friend, but through friends of my son's birthmom. We did not actually know one another, however she heard of us wanting to adopt for years. We met and became friends and still remain friends. We grew to know each other during her pregnancy while meeting at each doctor's appointment. We talked over the phone all the time, still send emails to each other. We have a special bond that is so important to each of us. We have always been open, honest, and respectful of one another and especially respectful of each other's feelings. I think that is what makes our friendship so special. The both of you should sit down and talk about the level of openess you want with the adoption, as that is very important. Make sure this is something that you feel comfortable with and please make sure the promises you make to her, are the promises you can keep.
    Kellyjude1

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 7:40 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Na. Adopt from somewhere else because tomorrow this might ruin your relationship with her. In future when she develops those motherly feelings for the baby you might land up in trouble.......
    AnuMeha

    Answer by AnuMeha at 3:18 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • In future when she develops those motherly feelings for the baby you might land up in trouble.......

    The mother already has "motherly feelings" for the baby, unless she is suppressing them due to thinking she has to give the child up for adoption . Her "motherly feelings" will only intensify after birth. I gave my firstborn son up for adoption 31 years ago, the love I feel for him is no less than the love I feel for the children I was lucky enough to go on and raise.
    susie703

    Answer by susie703 at 6:00 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • I tried to adopt from a so called friend she moved in with us during her last trimester I included her in on everything from the clothes to picking out the stuff for the babys room she was sure she wanted to give him up we had a lawyer draw up the proper paperwork she was unsure of who the father was it was between 5 guys. She didn't want to tell us all the guys so we could ask them to get tested and our lawyer said we could go on and still adopt or back out we choose to go on with it. We named him and picked him up from the hospital she moved in with her mother this was her 5 child all her other children were taken away from her by cps so needless to say her mother was happy my DH were adopting the baby well we had him for almost 6 months and she wanted him back 5 days b4 he turned 6 months old and the court granted her request. She did have the DNA done and found the father n the dad has him now she skipped out (not frendz)
    chunkyhoney78

    Answer by chunkyhoney78 at 11:54 AM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • My parents adopted my daughter at birth as their way to "help me". Long story short, I have been disowned by my biological family. Adopting from people that you have a good relationship with may lead to distroying the relationship.
    Ms.Maricel

    Answer by Ms.Maricel at 2:38 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

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