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4 Bumps

Am I being selfish?

So my husband and I are separated and I haven't asked him to contribute financially to my apartment or pay anything for our daughter. I'm hoping we can be a family again soon. This month I couldn't pay rent so I asked him to pay and he did but now he's being a jerk and taking cheap shots at me. I care for a little boy, I barely make enough to cover my expenses but im doing it. I recently had a miscarriage so i'm still sad about it but made the decision to go to nursing school. He was all for it but then realized that he'd be paying for everything. I've gotten the feeling he was trying to talk me out of it but nonchalantly. I really want to go to nursing school because if we don't work out which it seems lik its not that I have a good career. I want to know am I being selfish for wanting him to be financially there for me and his daughter for the next year?

I wanted to add for those who are saying im being selfish... the only reason I couldn't afford my rent this month is because our daughter's birthday was this month and I bought all her gifts! He was just as surprised to see the gifts that were opened as she was.

After reading every one's responses I want to say thanks for the support and I don't think Im being selfish... I think im being stupid for loving him the way I do but what's a girl to do.

Answer Question
 
ShaunaYve

Asked by ShaunaYve at 2:09 AM on Mar. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Level 9 (302 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • No, you are not being selfish . . . . .
    He is actually really lucky that he is not having to give you more right now. It is really, really hard to make ends meet as a single parent, especially when the kids are little . . . .
    you are not expecting too much.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 2:12 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Why do you feel bad? He needs to help out. That is his child, and it's his responsibility.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 2:12 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • I dont know why I feel bad I just do... It just hurts that he doesnt care.
    ShaunaYve

    Comment by ShaunaYve (original poster) at 2:15 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • I don't think you are being selfish, if anyone is it's him.
    kayaiden8907

    Answer by kayaiden8907 at 2:17 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Ya you want him to be there only for your expenses & emotionally you don't have any strings attached to him. At this point in time be mentally strong & cope up with your financial situation. If not then this so called husband might help you today but in the future you might repend taking help from him...
    AnuMeha

    Answer by AnuMeha at 3:02 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • how dare he make you feel this way by law have his pay check is yours weather you live with him or not
    and it took two of you to make this child
    a real man would look after his family no matter what time for you see a lawyer and now
    he should be helping out
    and if it goes to court he will have to pay till you get on your feet
    sorry hear about lost of your baby i know how hard that is i lost three but we do move on and good luck
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 3:03 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • I dont want him to be only financially responsible, I want him to be my husband and care about my future. Actually I want him to be my friend care about what the mother of his child is going to do when its officially over.
    ShaunaYve

    Comment by ShaunaYve (original poster) at 3:24 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • I don't think it's selfish at all. Look at it this way, if you two were to get divorced he would have to pay child support and alimony. I hope he shapes up and you can work things out b/c it seems that you want to. I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I thought I had one last Christmas, but turned out I wasn't even pregnant at that time I just started having a few different symptoms of a miscarriage, but even just the thought of losing a baby was torture. I'm so, so sorry. I wish I could help ease your pain. My mom had a miscarriage two years before she had me and she can talk about it now and it doesn't hurt her as much anymore. Not that she's cold and doesn't care, she has just had time to deal with it. I'll pray that your pain eases and your situation with your husband works out.
    Mamapunkin21809

    Answer by Mamapunkin21809 at 3:26 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Thank you, for the kind words. I really wanted to have the baby, but it'll get better.
    ShaunaYve

    Comment by ShaunaYve (original poster) at 3:41 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • You could also go LPN to RN. It takes the same amount of time, but if anything happens, you at least have your LPN degree and can work while finishing your RN. There are also some good school loans available. Ultimately a man should support his family.... But when he doesn't we can still make out dreams come true :)
    brenatens

    Answer by brenatens at 7:32 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

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