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2 Bumps

Do you tell your friends when you dislike there current relatioship?

I have a friend who is dating a guy who is so sweet and she treats him like trash and he just takes it. She is just so ugly to him. I recently told her that they shouldnt be together because its a relationship of convenince and she cried and agreed. Now I feel bad and wonder if I over stepped my boundaries.

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ShaunaYve

Asked by ShaunaYve at 3:01 AM on Mar. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Level 9 (302 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I would want to know if my friend thought I was treating my hub like crap.  Sometimes we don't realize the way we are acting/what we are saying.  I don't think you overstepped your boundaries, I think you did what friends are suppose to do.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 3:03 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • I would want people who care about me to remind me when I am out of line . . . and I have had a few friends do it from time to time. SOmetimes, that's what friends are for! To help you be the best you possible!
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 3:04 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • I feel in any relationship mutual respect is required. You did the right thing by saving the guy from further torture.....
    AnuMeha

    Answer by AnuMeha at 3:12 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • You are a true friend. You may as well have had on paramedics uniform on. You took action to save someone from further harm. SO GLAD YOU DID THAT:)... There are so many relationships out there that are toxic and need intervention before they get to be out of anyone's control. Good for you, them as well.
    Avitar

    Answer by Avitar at 3:31 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Overall I think it is the right thing to do. I think you only overstep the boundaries when the friend is not that close and not asking for your opinion. When our best friends start dating someone they always arrange a double date with us so we can let them know if we think it is good or not. I had to be really careful in telling one of my friends one time though. She was with this guy and he always found reasons to break plans with us. Whenever she talked about him it was always to complain that he has done something to treat her like crap. After a year of dating they got married. I was asked to be her maid of honor but I told her what I thought and stepped down to a bridesmaid also using the excuse that I had my wedding a month before her so I didn't have the funds to throw her a good shower and party. She is now going through a divorce. Sometimes people have to figure it out on their own even after advice is given.
    mrs.coop

    Answer by mrs.coop at 6:26 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Absolutely not! I learned my lesson in high school. Unless you know that your friend will value your opinion, then maybe it's worth a shot but I wouldn't risk it. However, if not saying something is going to affect your friendship then you might as well .
    jspenny2705

    Answer by jspenny2705 at 9:02 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • I would tell my friend if they were treating anyone badly. Someimes people need to be told the truth so they know the world can see them for who they are.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 9:48 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • I would depending on the case. My best friend was in a relationship where the guy was isolating her from everyone, we tried to talk to her, I did, her parents, other friends, she didn't listen and ended up in a very abusive marriage that she is still trapped in and won't leave. I do what I can, but as I live an hour away and have no personal eye witness proof, I've never seen her bruises because she always made sure I didn't see her until she had healed, she didn't even let me know about the physical abuse until she had been married over a year.
    I would step in in the case you mentioned, because she has become the abuser (emotional/mental abuse is just as bad or worse then physical) and he is just taking it. If it was a petty reason, my personality clashed with his, I'd leave it alone, but I would definitely step in here.
    JoyfulJ

    Answer by JoyfulJ at 1:20 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • My best friend, yeah, because she's like my sister and I always end up picking up the pieces when her relationship go south.
    metalhealthmom

    Answer by metalhealthmom at 1:49 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Depends if they can handle the trueth.
    Betutah

    Answer by Betutah at 11:30 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

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