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Bridal shower planning after baby LONG...

Okay.. so my sister wants her bridal shower a month after I have my little one.. I am one of the two matrons-of-honor. I understand that I am supposed to organize and get all the bridesmaids together to figure out this whole thing... problem is - I live 3 hrs away. I know I should suck it up and just do it but this isn't my first rodeo ya know, this is my fourth kid (and last) and I know what my body needs to heal.. and i imagine more time as I am older this go-around. She's very upset that I have told her I can help plan but will probably not be able to be there as a definite YES but more as a maybe. With the driving, dealing with a newborn and planning it may be too much for me.. 3 hrs up, 3 hrs back. She doesn't have space for me to stay overnight with everyone else that she has coming out for her. She feels I am being ridiculous and exclaimed "... it's a month after the baby --- that's a lot of time. You can't make it?"
I guess my questions are two-fold -- am I being ridiculous? AND... how would you handle it?


Asked by Camilletnt at 9:03 AM on Mar. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,896 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Youre not being ridiculous. My maid of honor lived 7 hrs away with no kids and I didnt expect her to do everything and be here for everything. That was asking too much. She had a job & babysat her baby sister for her mom. We all want things to be ideal for our weddings but in reality we have to bend and not turn into Bridezillas. Just tell her you are going to do your best and maybe you can get one of the other bridesmaids thats nearby to help. Tell her you are willing to share the duties.

    Answer by gemgem at 9:15 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Sister love!

    Answer by meooma at 12:59 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Correct me if I am wrong, but if you are to plan, then wouldn't you and the other matron of honor choose the date for the shower, not the bride? I had 2 showers, neither were not set by me. My family and friends are here and my DH's family is about 7 hours away. I did not expect them to come here for a shower, even future MIL. When we went up there a few months before the wedding, I knew they were planning a shower for me during the visit, but not when or where. My matron of honor was my SIL, she and my Mom gave me a shower here.
    If she can't or won't accept that you may be unable to attend because of baby, she needs to grow up. IMO anyway.

    Answer by nova.mommy at 12:54 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Does the other matron of honor live closer? Can she do most of the physical planning of the shower while you help do things that can be taken care of online or through telephone calls? I would try to get help with the planning portion of it and then go on the day of the shower even it it meant renting a hotel for the night.

    Answer by MrsMWF at 9:16 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • I am going to try to work with the other matron of honor - she lives closer but will also have a newborn! I know, the luck! Renting a hotel isn't a bad thought... it really depends on how things go doesn't it? My main concern is I did push myself with two of my three pregnancies and wound up hurting my healing process... I just don't want to upset her by saying YES, I'll be there but.. not able to be there due to issues. Thank you for answering.. I am trying to find the best way to present it to her as she is not as understanding. She believes when I say I may not I am making it about ME not her. I did talk with her about doing it early (3 mos before the wedding) but she thinks that's unreasonable to. I guess it probably is too early but you know.. trying to make it all work. :)

    Comment by Camilletnt (original poster) at 9:21 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • yeah.. she told me I can't plan the date because then it is me trying to make things happen on the day that works for me.. not the other way around. I dunno.. trying to make it happen and to keep her happy. I tell you what all these bridal reality shows etc set up unrealistic expectations.. lol. Yes, sister love!

    Comment by Camilletnt (original poster) at 6:37 PM on Mar. 6, 2011