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How to handle family comments about our miscarriage

My hubby and I just experienced our only miscarriage at 6 weeks 4 days...and my sister made a comment that eluded to the fact that I was making my pregnancy and miscarriage up. Then yesterday my grandmother made a comment that suggested the same. I am so broken because I was told by my OB that my body was naturally handling the miscarriage and I have been in so much pain physically...the emotional and mental, I won't start on. How should I handle comments like these when I am going through enough already?

Answer Question

Asked by MrsJStearns at 10:20 AM on Mar. 6, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 16 (2,706 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Wow! that would be so hurtful. you are going to alot right now, i would probally get pissed and tell them off.
    I am really sorry you lost your baby.

    Answer by jenn4443 at 10:22 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • That's extremely insensitive and hurtful. I would have snapped at them for trying to make the situation seem unimportant, and then ignore them for a while. I'm sorry for your loss. Miscarriage is a very difficult thing to go through.

    Answer by FluffyMamaBunny at 10:26 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • I am so sorry :( I would tell them flat out how bad their comments make you feel...apparently they dont know and they SHOULD!

    Then after you tell them, ask them not to speak of it with you again if they are not going to be supportive.

    So sorry :( Is anyone in your family helping you?

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 10:26 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • At this point, the only person really helping me is my husband and we have family friends and church members who have been awesome through this tough experience. My family is actually a state away. My mom and sister did come up to make sure we were okay. My mom is actually taking things pretty rough too. None of our family knew we were pregnant until we miscarried. We wanted to wait this time and I am glad we did.

    Comment by MrsJStearns (original poster) at 10:30 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Ignore them. They are not being suppotive of you. I myself went through a miscarriage and my family was very supportive. I feel for you and will keep you in my prayers that things will get better for you.

    Answer by katcb1019 at 10:40 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • I had a miscarriage in January and I can't imagine going through that drama on top of the miscarriage. I would say ignore the comments if you can but I know that I could never let it go. I would definately get your sister and grandmother together and explain the comments were hurtful and unnecessary. You don't need to prove anything to them but you can get into explain how the doc is doing "quant" tests every week until your hcg level is back to 0, or whatever your doc is doing.... You wouldn't know that stuff unless you were going through it. That will shut them up... screw them! Seriously, they're out of line!

    Answer by Mel_in_PHX at 11:02 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • I just don't even see why they would say something like that! I mean, when I think of someone faking a pregnancy, I think of someone who was trying to get someone to marry them or to save a bad relationship...not someone who is married, with children, and TTC.

    Try to ignore it and concentrate on yourself and getting well.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 11:02 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. Maybe tell your mom how hurt you are by your sister and grandmother and she can relay the message while you focus on yourself and your family.

    Answer by bloomsr at 10:39 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

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