Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

6 Bumps


SO has been sick for two months. He has an infection that took the drs a while to even get the right meds for it & on top of that its apparently an infection that is really hard to get rid of. Here we are two months later & he still is trying not to over stress himself to prolong the process of becoming better *sigh* okay makes sense he still has some pain.

Well I am sick of having no help anymore. He literally sits on the couch all friggin' day long doing nothing. He dosent help clean up, dosent play with our three year old, wont help run errands, nothing. I have been pulling double duty for a long time now & I am burnt out. He dosent understand that once in a while I snap at him & when I do he'll say something about him being sick & how I am so mean for not being considerate while he is sick.... hello I have been for a long time now including sevearl late night trips to the ER, picking up things from the store for him, getting my three year old & myself out of the house so he can rest in silence, doing all the housework everything, taking care of our child every second...... I am sick of it.

We went to florida the other week too & what do you know I ended up doing everything. So even on my one vacation in the last five years & probably my only one for a few years to come I didnt get to rest. What matters is our daughter had the time of her little life & I worked damn hard to make sure her experience was not hindered in any way. Now I get it he was sick & still is sick, I'm not holding the trip against him I am just venting here. He did get taken to the hospital while down there when we were in disneyworld (that was a mess of a day within itself) so he was very sick at that point.

Sorry ladies just had to vent it somewhere. This was sparked by him saying why dont you take our child out to play in the snow before the weather gets bad. Good idea except the house is such a disaster, we are moving in three weeks so packing has to be done, etc I asked him why dosent he take her out in the snow he got pissy with the I'm sick crap *sigh* just a little help would be nice here.


Asked by Mel30248 at 10:52 AM on Mar. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Level 26 (25,898 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • It's funny how when they get sick they can't do anything but when we get sick we still have to take care of them the kids the house etc

    Answer by morenarfr05 at 11:36 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • At the next dr. appointment, I would make it really clear what your SO says he is unable to do and find out if the doctor agrees. Find out what activities the dr. thinks he can handle, and make a list of them right washing dishes or dressing your child in the morning. I would come in with some very low energy responsibilities that the dr. can okay so SO has no more excuses. He is definitely milking this.

    Answer by spottedpony at 11:28 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • ...or better yet make a phone call to that doctor today and get a list of activities he can handle!

    Answer by spottedpony at 11:28 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • "Honey, I understand you're sick, but it's NOT GOING TO KILL YOU to do some light chores around the house and help me out." He can help your 3 year old get dressed. Have her bring him her clothes and he can HOLD them while she gets into them. That's what we did with ours when they were that age. He can carry his own dishes to the sink. He can place his own laundry in the hamper. Heck, he can even tape the bottom of the moving boxes with a tape gun.

    You have been wonderfully fabulous for taking care of him this long, but enough is enough. Some light activities will actually HELP him heal. Sitting on your butt on the couch all day hinders blood flow. Getting up and moving, doing small, light activities, encourages blood flow.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 12:04 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • After much pushing he finally went into our daughters bedroom & played trains & barbies with her then doctor. This allowed me to get the floor of the kitchen cleaned up. He does this gets to a point where I am "nagging" him to do something then he will finally start to do some things & be fine for a while then back around we go! He has just been extra whinny b/c of the sickness.

    BTW I am not involved with his docs, dentist nothing. He is a grown man I do not keep track of his apts, I dont bring him to the doc (unless its needed or he asks), I dont make his apts, I dont make calls to the docs for him. Its a rule I have always had he's grown & I have my own apts & my daughters to keep track of let alone his!

    Comment by Mel30248 (original poster) at 12:06 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Sounds like he is far from a grown up man to me. Perhaps it is time to get involved and let that dr. know he is using this to take advantage of you.

    Answer by spottedpony at 2:37 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Just because you go to the doc with him when he's been sick this long doesn't mean you are keeping track of him - it shows you care. And this will give you an opp to see if he's milking this or if he can help around the house a bit.

    Good luck!

    Answer by autbot at 10:01 PM on Mar. 6, 2011