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Should I be concern now?

Last year some mos told me not to worry about it. That my daughter will grow out of it but she hasn;t and it still bothers me more than ever.
Here the thing my daughter with her friends is always the listener she always listens and never saids a word unless she is being addressed to. I would like her to just do the same as the other girls do just talk when ever she has something to say. She's okay speeking her mind when she;s on one on one, though,. Some of her friends won't ask her to go out with them because they think she is so shy that she might feel uncomfortable, But other friends say no way she not shy shes great. But the people who say she is great is not around as much they work. So she's only left with the people who say she might be a little shy.please help me with this. she is 15 yrs old in 10th grade.

 
incarnita

Asked by incarnita at 10:56 AM on Mar. 6, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 14 (1,386 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I am confused by your questions. Do you think that she should be hanging out with more kids and that she is spending to much time at home? From what you have said hear I would not worry about her being shy. All kids go through this. She might have a group of friends at school and they just don't hang out outside of school.

    Good Luck!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 11:03 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • If your daughter dosent see something wrong... which I am not sure there is something wrong per say... then you cant "fix" it. Have you simply asked her if she would like to be more outgoing, if there is something wrong, etc. Maybe she is self concious of herself have you tried to boost her up a bit by making her feel extra special (I am not saying you dont do that I am just asking if you have thought of these things).

    As long as she dosent allow people to run all over or she isnt doing what anyone tells her to do just b/c they told her then sounds like your fine.
    Mel30248

    Answer by Mel30248 at 11:00 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Stop trying to change who your daughter is. If she is comfortable let it go. I am exactly like your daughter is and I have friends. I was worse in high school, but if people didn't like it then they weren't my friends anyway. So, your daughter is shy, you can't force her to be someone she isn't. I am the person who sits back and observes, and you would be surprised what people say around me thinking I am not paying attention or interested. I know who is cheating on who, who is doing drugs, etc. She will be fine!!!
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:44 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • My advice is if it's not broke, don't try to fix it. Out of 3 kids, I had one who was that way. He was observant and quiet. He got his strength from within and didn't need the socializing that the other two did. Now that they are adults, the one I had simil;ar concerns for is the most stable, secure and succesful of the 3. They are all different and it doesn't mean that anything is wrong with them. All they really need is our love and acceptance. What if you were very social and someone tells you that now you must just be the listener.... Same difference. If something is wrong, you will know it. Relax and take it one day at a time. Soon enough she will be on her own. :-) Something that might help is to keep her involved in activities that she likes. She may find the perfect group of friend. It will all be OK. Don't worry. Hugs...
    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 11:45 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • A wise man speaks because he has something to say. A fool speaks because he has to say something. I see nothing wrong with your daughter being quiet and saying little.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 12:07 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Is she unhappy about the situation?

    IF she is shy and unhappy then perhaps a counselor could help her find some tools to break out.

    IF she is shy and content with it then let her be... this IS who she is.
    sahlady

    Answer by sahlady at 12:28 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Maybe she should get involved with a team or something like that. It may help her gain a little more confidence when it comes to addressing groups of people.
    metalhealthmom

    Answer by metalhealthmom at 1:10 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Some kids feel more comfortable to sit back & observe & only contribute once in a while. It doesnt mean they arent having fun, that's just part of their personality. Since she has all the other qualities you mentioned, I dont think I'd really be too concerned about this right now.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 11:28 AM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • I dont know if you should be worried because all my life i was shy well i wouldnt say shy but not talkatve at all. I didnt really start talking to people untill i got a little older and when i say older i mean out of school. I dont know why. And you can say that now i dont really run my mouth too much. So mabe theres nothing wrong. was she always this way. maybe its just who she is..
    BUTTERFLY463

    Answer by BUTTERFLY463 at 1:09 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

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