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2 Bumps

Why doesn't anyone wanna hang with me?

I seriously try and try to set up playdates and have some sort of girls night, but no one cares. I feel so lonely. I'm a stay at home mom, and this town isn't even mine, so I'm sort of like an outcast. So every person that I meet probably thinks I'm desperate. Im starting to think I am too. I just want a friend that I can call up and have a few drinks with or go shopping with. Can someone please tell me how, and that I'm not alone?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:09 PM on Mar. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • nope, your not alone. can you join some sort of newcomers group in your area? check out some meetup sites too. they have a few in my area for stay at home moms. you have to keep making an effort to meet others. do you have a local community park near? i bet some mothers hang out there with the kiddos.
    lillie70

    Answer by lillie70 at 1:13 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • oh i feel like that too, my husband has his friends over for cards every other tuesday and no one wants to hang out with me. I tried setting play dates and no suceess. I just gave up at it, and someday somone will. If u live in Manitowoc WI then maybe we can hang out together
    2boysyahoo.com

    Answer by 2boysyahoo.com at 1:14 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • I think people are just so absorbed in their own lives they don't see how much it means to you.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 1:15 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Totally not alone. I am an organizer of an online play group with 90 members and feel the exact same way most of the time. It's been very clear to me for a while that I'm not one of the "cool kids", which is fine. There are a few parents whose company I always enjoy and I never feel awkward around (happens a lot for me); we just tend to forget to make plans for later and a month will go by without seeing them. I sink into more depression and then remember that life happens: kids get sick, adults get the blahs, gas is expensive for getting to play dates. I have decided that if the same person turns down all my invitations no matter what, that person just isn't interested and I have to stop trying; it will only make me more sad and frustrated to keep trying.
    silversmom

    Answer by silversmom at 1:20 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • I am in the same situation. We moved to this town over 5 years ago and I still have yet to make a real "friend". I have made many aquaintances, but it never crosses over to friendship. I hate it and feel like such a failure. I had so many friends where I used to live and have always been the friend who would do anything for her friends. I don't know if it's today's busy hectic lifestyle, but people just don't seem to be open to making new friends. I have done all I can do to put myself out there and at this point I have accepted my fate as being friendless. I am not going to beg people to be my friend. My husband is not a very social guy so I havn't met anyone through him. He works with about 7 people and they don't really seem interested in getting to know me. We would have cookouts a couple of times a summer for his work people and they would come and would barely even speak to me . I said forget this no more cookouts.
    jcm62497

    Answer by jcm62497 at 1:21 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • You arent alone. I was in the same situation. I moved here to a small town where dh is from and didnt know anyone for a long time. It would have really helped me to know people when I was in a custody battle for my son. I felt so alone. Last year we put my dd in softball and a whole new world opened up for me. I now have friends I can hang out with who have common interests, kids and all of that. Maybe you can look into some programs like that? Even if its a mommy and me class, or a mom and baby yoga class itll get you out there meeting other moms with kids the same age.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 1:27 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • I'm the same as JCM...live in a new state from where I grew up, and have lived in our current home for the past 8 1/2 years--my children are 9 and 7.

    It's not for being a "homebody," I've extended myself on numerous occasions--especially to new home owners--figuring they were in the same boat as me, and nothing! I joined mom and tot groups (when my kids were infants/toddlers), the PTA, I support all door-to-door fundraising requests, my children involved in a variety of sports and social groups, we even give out the best Halloween candy!! LOL :o)

    I'm always cordial and I live in an upscale neighborhood/subdivision, but everyone seems more concerned with their own lives to stop and chat. Oh well! Their loss! LOL

    My husband also has only 2 friends plus his older brother whom he considers to be his only friends--I'm friends with their wives/SIL.
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 1:43 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • not alone. im in my hometown, tons of "friends", my DF will watch the babe for me, and still i feel desperate (sound desperate "hey where are you going? dont leave!! i neeeeed you!!" insert clinginess here) im going through an unwanted but not surprising isolation period.
    Arretsmomma5

    Answer by Arretsmomma5 at 8:04 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • WHERE DID U LIVE
    wayneswife2177

    Answer by wayneswife2177 at 8:05 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • I live in texas
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:24 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

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