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How do you get over loving but hating someone at the same time?

As you know my ex beat the crap out of me for 3 years. I still love him but I'm not in love with him (if that makes sense). I don't want to be with him but I have so much anger towards him but I'm trying to be civil because he is the father of my child. Any suggestions would be great.... I don't want to feel ike this, I'm not an angry or vindictive person and I hate it that I feel like this....


Asked by June_Mama09 at 4:15 PM on Mar. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Level 26 (26,054 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • Don't beat yourself up over your feelings. You are allowed to hate what he has done but overall it shows how much love you have to offer the world if you can still feel love for someone who has hurt you. That strong amount of love you have just needs to be redirected towards someone else. Start with your child and then yourself. You don't have to have a man to have a loving little family with just the two of you.

    Answer by at 4:20 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • did you just leave him recently, and are you getting any kind of ptsd counseling or anything? loving him but not being in love with him makes total sense, you love him as the father of your child. but you aren't in love with him because of how he treated you, he betrayed your trust and took away your sense of security. i dont know how long its been since you left him (and a million hugs for that!) but i do know it takes time to heal.

    Answer by tnm786 at 4:21 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • it has only been a few months but I still have to see him everyday... I want to kick him in the shins and hug him at the same time. ugh, this is just so hard....

    Comment by June_Mama09 (original poster) at 4:29 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Have you tried counseling? Maybe that will help you sort out your feelings and its very normal to feel this way. Remember, one day at a time and time heals.

    Answer by PatriciaofMN at 4:46 PM on Mar. 6, 2011